Michael Jordan, game six of the 1998 NBA Finals. The Continental Army against the Redcoats in the Battle of Yorktown. Your grandpa wearing a MAGA hat sitting across from you at Thanksgiving dinner. The thread that ties all of these instances together? All are examples of some of the greatest showdowns in our country’s history.
We Americans have now elected a convicted felon over a woman as the 47th president of the United States — and just in time for the holiday season. Households will be ablaze with political debate, and mindfulness and preparation are necessary practices before arriving for your night of navigating the literal elephant in the room.
Discussing politics at family events — especially at events where attendees align themselves with different ideologies — is truly a balancing act. Should the discussion of politics be inevitable at your gathering, there are steps you can take that allow for a harmless conversation that does not descend into madness. Coming into the discussion with a sense of curiosity and disregarding preconceived notions is a great starting point and helps facilitate a sense of understanding. While you may not agree with what is being said, this mindset assists in avoiding judgment.
While it is important to remain strong in your beliefs, it is equally as important to know when to walk away from a situation. Individuals who start throwing around “hot button” or “buzz” words and phrases — sayings like neoliberal or snowflake — are looking to elicit an emotional response and contribute to conversations getting out of hand or overly aggressive.
Should one of the people you’re celebrating the holidays with begin to start this kind of discourse, one of the best options is to acknowledge their feelings before explaining that you’d be happy to have the discussion under different circumstances. This typically allows for the situation to diffuse a bit but also demonstrates that you are not backing down, simply just backing away for the time being.
However, should someone start to personally insult you — whether it for be your intelligence, who you voted for or how you choose to identify — I find it important to call them out for their behavior. In this instance, it is necessary to inform them that their senseless insults do not assist in proving their point, are defeating the purpose of the holiday occasion and necessitate an apology. When someone resorts to these insults, it often means that they cannot come up with anything better to help their point, and that is not an adequate or valid explanation for their cruel actions.
While it’s easy for me to sit here and type this out, I completely understand that confrontation and actually having these conversations are quite difficult. It requires resilience and courage. Though it may be hard, I believe that it is certainly worth it to take the time to call out disruptive family members, friends or even just people you’re celebrating with for their actions, as it opens the doors to having a productive conversation rather than one that is shrouded with insults or passive-aggressive remarks.
As with all parts of life, knowing time and place is perhaps one of the most important pieces to navigating political conversations this upcoming holiday season. Often, politics are not necessary in conversation while you’re gathered around the dinner table. You can’t address the elephant in the room if it’s not there, so consciously avoiding the discussion — especially if it typically ends in disaster — may be the best thing to do.
As cliche as it sounds, the holiday season is truly a time to concentrate on what you’re grateful for. It’s important to take the time to recognize that the family and friends we spend our holidays with are with us for a reason. While they may be difficult to get along with or converse with, it is good to try to do so in a positive and productive way.
Tessa Powers loves to write in any style and is passionate about social justice and media. She is always open to ideas at [email protected]
