Layton: new CW shows worth checking out

By Kieran Layton

Every fall, the new year of television begins. The past several seasons have shown that there will always be a few surefire premieres and returning shows audiences can expect to see.

A new “CSI” spin-off can always be expected, except this season, I think it’s a new “NCIS” show — same difference. There will certainly be a show that attempts to cash in on the supernatural dramatic success on which “Lost” stumbled years ago, but it will likely be an inevitable failure.

And finally, there will be plenty of both new and old shows — almost exclusively on The CW Television Network — that parade young, pretty things around even the most thread-bare of plots for the viewing pleasure of the 15-to-25-year-old demographic.

So far this season, we’ve seen three such shows, two new and one returning for its second season, on the vapid shell of broadcast beauty that is The CW Television Network.

From two shows hearkening back to the days of early ’90s soap glory to one seemingly cashing in on the pop-culture vampire craze, those seeking their guilty pleasures of the season will surely have their thirst satiated this year.

“90210”

Tuesdays 8 p.m.

Grade: B-

Last year, the re-imagining of the series that paved the way for teen soap operas received much flak from critics and parents alike for portraying teenage girls who looked as if they hadn’t eaten in years.

If the season two opener is any indication, the girls are still starving.

Following a handful of wealthy teens living in arguably the most well-known zip code in the United States, the show picks up a few months later from where it ended.

Silver is now BFFs with Naomi and Adriana as a result of their time spent at summer school together, which in turn was necessary because of the party on which Annie called the cops in the season finale. Annie is still fretting about her hit-and-run, and the male characters still serve no purpose other than to act as playthings and plot devices for the more interesting females.

The premiere delivers more of the same from the first season — cheesy scenes scored with the most sugary pop music, all suggesting a life of impossible decadence. Unfortunately, what works for “Gossip Girl” does not work for “90210.”

The conversations between characters come across so forced that one begs for Kevin Williamson (“The OC,” “The Vampire Diaries”) to join the writing team just for the sake of even the smallest dose of wit and social relevance.

The Dixon/Silver love storyline wore thin halfway through last season, and now it’s just irritating. Naomi is still a delight as the b*tch of the show, but actress AnnaLynne McCord seriously needs to tone down the sneers that make it seem like she is constantly smelling a fart.

And where is Jennie Garth?

The producers of the show would be wise to keep the alumni from the original series nearby. The show is never more appetizing than when they pop up to show who truly owns the franchise.

The show still has status as a guilty pleasure, but when the trash actually starts smelling as bad as it should, it’s a bad sign — “90210,” take heed.

“Melrose Place”

Tuesdays 9 p.m.

Grade: A-

Presumably stemming from the success of the “90210” redux, another ’90s staple has been rushed to airwaves to catch what is likely the tail end of that trend.

Thankfully, the new “Melrose Place” delivers a more delicious, believable and entertaining batch of guilty pleasure fluff than those teens in Beverly Hills ever will.

In the series premiere, we meet a varied and compelling mix of residents who all reside in the same apartment building — all seen together for the first time on the show when new girl Violet (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz) finds a body in the complex’s pool.

The body belongs to Sydney Andrews (Laura Leighton) from the original series, and immediately a murder mystery angle infuses the rest of the melodramatics with a sense of compelling urgency.

Speaking of the melodramatics, we get just about everything in the premiere: a marriage proposal, blackmail, father-son arguments, prostitution and even some girl-on-girl action, thanks to the wickedly entertaining Katie Cassidy.

Even Simpson-Wentz is decent at making us forget her D-bag of a husband, and she shows great promise for the rest of the season.

What makes the premiere succeed so well is the range of characters on display. We have the good and almost-innocent (moralistic filmmaker Jonah and fiancé Riley) and we have the b*tchy and superficial (Cassidy’s Ella and the deceased Sydney, who appears in flashbacks throughout the episode).

Though it certainly isn’t the perfect guilty pleasure, it could definitely rival “Gossip Girl” in that arena if it keeps up the trashy act as well as it did in the premiere.

“The Vampire Diaries”

Thursdays 8 p.m.

Grade: B+

Despite what critics and detractors predicted months ago, the vampire craze that has swept the nation is no closer to killing its undead self, and in fact, the flame might be growing.

Hot on the heels of “Twilight” and making no effort to conceal its similarity, “The Vampire Diaries” establishes itself primarily as “Dawson’s Creek” with vampires. This should come as no surprise, as series creator (it’s based on a popular teen book series) Kevin Williamson is also responsible for “Creek.”

Following orphaned teen Elena (Nina Dobrev of “Degrassi” fame) as she narrates her diaries in a voice-over that should be cheesy but isn’t, the series immediately places the viewer in her high school, where her peers drop pop culture references like they’re hot.

“I predicted Obama. I predicted Heath Ledger … ” her friend Bonnie says as she is touting her supposed psychic abilities. Oh, Williamson, the television world needs more of you.

The school, or at least all of the main female characters, are immediately captivated by new student/secret vampire Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley). Yes, the name sucks, and yes, Wesley takes “dark and brooding” to a level that Edward Cullen might not even recognize, but the chemistry between him and Elena is irresistible.

So as not to thrive on being a direct “Twilight” clone, Stefan’s evil vampire brother Damon (Ian Somerholder) arrives to add some necessary dramatic tension. It’s a pleasure to see the actor be raised from the “Lost” dead, and viewers will immediately love to hate him.

Though nothing really happens in the series premiere, it shows immense promise at becoming a weekly fix for those longing for “New Moon” or lamenting the end of “True Blood’s” season.

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