‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Advertising is a funny thing, especially when you’re trying to convince people to… ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Advertising is a funny thing, especially when you’re trying to convince people to see a movie that’s sold well over 53 million tickets. But that hasn’t stopped Warner Bros. from promoting ‘The Dark Knight,’ back in theaters as of last weekend to remind Oscar voters that it exists. ‘ ‘ ‘ How do you convince people to pay $10.50 to see a movie they already own? A poster outside the Pittsburgh Mills IMAX theater advertises the movie as ‘The way it was MEANT to be seen.’ Imagine! A movie meant to be seen in the theater. This is an unusual concept indeed, but I’ll trust their artistic vision. ‘ ‘ ‘ Now let’s be fair. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘The Dark Knight’ did, after all, feature several scenes shot specially in IMAX format, enhancing the theatrical experience over, say, watching it on an iPod. But if you’ve seen the movie since its DVD release ‘mdash; and based on the sales numbers, you did ‘mdash; you know that while it’s meant to be seen in the theater, it doesn’t have to be. ‘ ‘ ‘ Not every movie is so lucky ‘mdash; just look at ‘Beowulf.’ From behind a pair of heavy-duty 3-D glasses ‘mdash; straight from the Willy Wonka school of optical fashion ‘mdash; this computer-animated adventure is exciting and immersive. ‘ ‘ ‘ Without the fancy spectacles, though, the movie isn’t even a fancy spectacle. It’s just a violent, sexy version of ‘Shrek.’ Without the novel illusion that Anthony Hopkins is throwing coins at you, or that Ray Winstone’s genitals might slap you across the face, the movie’s contrivances show through. ‘ ‘ ‘ In late autumn 2007, Beowulf begged his men to remember him ‘not as a king or a hero, but a man, fallible and flawed.’ Sure, Beowulf, you’re just a regular Joe, running around fighting dragons and boning an Angelina Jolie demon. In 2009, one can easily see how flawed ‘Beowulf’ really is, and it isn’t because of the time that has elapsed. It’s because you can no longer see it the way it was meant to be seen. The content of the movie isn’t half as interesting as the theatrical execution meant to distract you from its own blah-ness. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ This makes me wonder why Warner Bros. went this route with ‘The Dark Knight’ re-release marketing campaign. ‘ ‘ ‘ Telling my wife that ‘this is the way it was meant to be seen’ won’t convince her to finally see the movie with me. If that’s what the studio wanted, the marketing slogan would be ‘Now with 100% more naked Christian Bale tushes.’ And with the new wide releases of many arthouse Oscar nominees, this seems a bit ill-timed. ‘ ‘ ‘ Since last week’s Oscar nominee announcement, the academy has been a popular target, accused of shunning mainstream movie-goers and blockbusters by nominating lesser-seen films like ‘The Reader’ and ‘Frost/Nixon.’ While artistic integrity is a natural influence on the voting, the academy has its mind on its money, too. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘The Dark Knight’ is the second-highest grossing movie of all time ‘mdash; it’s made enough money for every person in New York City to see it about six times. Its time has come and gone. By nominating other deserving movies, the academy might finally convince people to go see them. ‘ ‘ ‘ Unfortunately, there are any number of great movies out there ‘mdash; some even (gasp) better than ‘The Dark Knight’ ‘mdash; that aren’t being seen. ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ made less this weekend than both ‘Hotel for Dogs’ and the third ‘Underworld’ movie. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Should you see ‘Dark Knight’ over ‘Slumdog’ simply because of some veiled threat that you might miss this one last chance to see it as it was truly meant to be seen? ‘ ‘ ‘ That you’ll one day confess to your grandchildren that, no, you didn’t see ‘The Dark Knight’ in the theater? That you’ll spend your nights tightly clutching your Blu-ray copy and weeping over long-lost opportunity? ‘ ‘ ‘ Please. If that were your best argument, you’d be seeing ‘My Bloody Valentine’ before anything else ‘mdash; at least that’s in 3-D. Go see ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and encourage Hollywood to make more movies like it. ‘ ‘ ‘ It’s in theaters, so I can only assume that’s how it was meant to be seen. ‘ ‘ ‘ You’ve already proven how much you love ‘The Dark Knight,’ and you can always watch it when you get home.