‘ ‘ ‘ The first month of school is passed, and in addition to colder weather and shorter days,… ‘ ‘ ‘ The first month of school is passed, and in addition to colder weather and shorter days, October brings us carved pumpkins, lots of parties and another ‘Saw’ sequel. ‘ ‘ ‘ And haunted houses, of course. ‘ ‘ ‘ With this in mind, I charted my course to Etna to visit Pittsburgh’s own world-renowned fright factory, Scarehouse. The line was enormous, the excitement palpable, and my doubts couldn’t be higher. ‘ ‘ ‘ Hauntworld Magazine recently ranked Scarehouse the fifth best haunted house in the country, and I suppose it deserves its spot. ‘ ‘ ‘ While falling short of being genuinely terrifying, the attraction is a frightfully fun diversion on a slow weekend night. ‘ ‘ ‘ I’ve done the haunted house routine numerous times, and I typically end up disappointed after every one. I love being scared, but a few ‘Boo!’ moments in a poorly decorated basement has pretty much been the extent of my haunted house experience. ‘ ‘ ‘ I am happy to say, though, that I had some legitimate shivers throughout Scarehouse, and that it is a more-than-ample excuse to go to Etna and get yourself in the mood for Halloween. ‘ ‘ ‘ In judging the scare factor of a haunted house from the outside, watching a girl have an anxiety attack in front of the house’s exit is always a good indicator of what’s to come. ‘ ‘ ‘ The episode wasn’t staged, and it definitely elicited a small giggle to mask my nerves. And if a hyperventilating youth wasn’t enough, the screams coming from inside the building certainly did the job. ‘ ‘ ‘ Scott Simmons, the executive producer of Scarehouse, said that while full-blown panic attacks are a little extreme, such intense reactions to the attraction are not uncommon. The staff even anticipates the so-called ‘sprinters,’ or the people who run as fast as they can through the house. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘We give plenty of warning. We have warning signs all over the place, so you know what you’re getting into,’ said Simmons. ‘ ‘ ‘ These signs, which recommend Scarehouse for those older than 13, might dually serve as warnings and excitement boosters. Regardless of the hype, I was still skeptical before entering. ‘ ‘ ‘ In response to my question of their expectation for the haunted house, one group of high school students agreed that it was ‘not to pee their pants by the end.’ I agreed this was definitely a goal to keep in mind. ‘ ‘ ‘ With an advance ticket voucher, a must for those wanting to skip the massive line, I waited to enter the Hall of Nightmares, the first of three sections of Scarehouse. In the queue area, ‘The Shining’ played on a big screen, and my overall attitude got slightly better. ‘ ‘ ‘ With the obligatory creepy ticket collector, my first concern upon entering the hall was making sure I wouldn’t stub my toe at some point. Seriously, it was really, really dark. ‘ ‘ ‘ This first section included the requisite themes like Creepy Kitchen and Creepy Graveyard, and I was immediately impressed with the incredible quality of the sets, design elements and costumes. I almost failed at my goal when an ambiguous coffin began violently shaking and nearly fell off the table it rested on. My pace quickened. ‘ ‘ ‘ The next section is new for this year, and it defies any traditional haunted house standards. It’s called Delirium 3-D, and guests ‘enter a deranged and demented world filled with color, creatures and the crazed imagination of a very twisted mind.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ A pair of 3-D glasses makes neon-painted walls pop in your face, and the effect is not so much scary as it is extremely disorienting. Add in the nausea-inducing spinning tunnel you have to walk through, and a run-in with a few not-so-docile clowns, and I was more than happy to leave this Delirium character’s mind. ‘ ‘ ‘ The final portion of Scarehouse is the Screamatorium, and it is definitely the best. Whereas the previous sections were either standard haunted house fare or not haunted house fare whatsoever, the Screamatorium is legitimately scary. Imagine every gore-filled torture flick released recently, and you have the idea. ‘ ‘ ‘ Doctors, dentists and prison inmates all receive the scare treatment here. What was most disturbing, however, was walking through a bathroom section. I started giggling until I saw the most disgusting toilet scene ever. Scary stuff, indeed. ‘ ‘ ‘ Lasting a little more than a half-hour, I was pleasantly surprised with the house, and a little less jaded toward haunted houses in general. I won’t be going back again, but I definitely had fun and would recommend the house to anyone. And another plus: I didn’t pee my pants. ‘ ‘ ‘ Scarehouse made its annual debut on Friday, Sept. 26, and it will be open Thursday through Sunday nights until Nov. 1 ‘mdash; just in time for Halloween lovers to get their fix of fear.