Desirae Ober, of White Hall, watches as her 16-month-old daughter runs from one toy to another…. Desirae Ober, of White Hall, watches as her 16-month-old daughter runs from one toy to another. Maybe she wants the blocks. Or maybe a book. Or maybe she runs smack-dab into a wall of soft, plastic pins that will mold to her impression. Ober sits in the Allegheny County Jail, prepared to wait at least one hour before she can take her daughter to visit her father, an inmate. Jail policy requires families to sign up for a visit in person at least one hour in advance. If other people beat them to the sign-up list, they can wait two or more hours to visit their loved one. But the jail’s Gwendolyn June Campbell Elliot Family Activity Center, which celebrated its first anniversary earlier this month, makes the experience more pleasant, several families said Saturday. ‘There’s always something for [my daughter] to do,’ said Ober. ‘During the visit, she’s more calm, because she got her energy out, so she doesn’t mind sitting still.’ Ober is one of the roughly 4,000 people who have used the Family Activity Center since its creation in 2007. The center, which features a slide, a mural with hidden pictures for which children can search, a play-set that resembles a visiting room, and healthy snacks, was the joint project of several local organizations. The Pittsburgh Child Guidance Foundation, which promotes the mental health of children 12 and under, and Lydia’s Place, a group that helps female offenders and their families, collaborated with the jail and solicited donations from more than 100 individuals and community organizations to build the activity center. According to Allegheny County’s Web site, the activity center cost more than $400,000 in donations and more than $40,000 worth of volunteer hours. Jail Warden Ramon Rustin said he was pleasantly surprised to see so many people come together to help the inmates’ families. Rustin said the jail often gets overlooked. ‘It’s where the criminals are. People are punished. [But] we know it’s just a temporary situation. They all get out.’ The inmates are more likely to have a smooth transition into ‘normal life’ if they have a strong support system, Rustin said. That’s where the family comes into play. Families of the incarcerated seek normalcy But building and maintaining that relationship isn’t always easy. ‘When an inmate has been gone, things are very different in that household. It can be very traumatic to the inmate and the household,’ said Ramon. Sometimes, the inmates will leave jail not knowing their child’s favorite color or favorite food, said Claire Walker, executive director of the Pittsburgh Child Guidance Foundation. The children and their caregivers, she added, will often ask, ‘Where were you when I needed you?’ It’s not that the two parties don’t want to know and understand each other, Walker said. Often times, they don’t know how to get started. The key to developing those relationships, she said, is to keep the lines of communication open, and that’s often difficult. Sometimes the caregivers lie to the children to try to save them the pain of knowing their parent is in jail, Walker said. She said she knows of at least one instance where a child was told their parent was in school instead of in jail. The child was then scared to go to school. ‘The child knows something’s going on and imagines the worst,’ said Walker. Other times, children run into problems because phone calls are expensive, and letters are difficult to write, she added. The guidance foundation and the jail are working to provide counseling for the inmates and their families after they leave the jail. In the meantime, they’re trying to make the jail visits as pleasant as possible. ‘ ‘Children’s attachments to their parents are the most critical elements of their lives,’ said Walker. ‘When children aren’t helped to maintain those relationships, there are lifelong consequences. We can help them see their parents and see them in a realistic sense.’ Cheryl Myrick was watching her granddaughter play in the center Saturday when she said, ‘It takes your mind off of where you’re at most of the time, and it gives you a chance to talk, to give advice.’ Myrick said the caregivers often bond while they’re sitting in the activity center with their children or grandchildren. On Saturday, several of them spoke about their faith in God and how they hoped it would help them accept the situation they were in. ‘We’re like a family,’ said Myrick.