Today, I am excited to read this column in print form because I am officially back in… Today, I am excited to read this column in print form because I am officially back in Pittsburgh after nine weeks in Arequipa, Peru. As you’re reading this column, look around. You might see me reading The Pitt News at the same time as you, practically in stitches at the wit of this column, slapping my knee and shouting, “Who comes up with this stuff?!” My favorite part will be the intro paragraph.

Because it is my last dispatch, I’d like to highlight things that Latin America has going for it:

Grit: Latin Americans have so much grit that “grit” does not translate to Spanish. Don’t be surprised: Some African tribes don’t have a word for rhythm because their culture is so in sync. Peru converted from socialism to capitalism, always painful, at the same time they defeated a Maoist terrorist regime. Ever since, most Chuck Norris jokes apply to Latin Americans by the time these people reach the blastula stage. Americans like to think we have grit if we watched the beginning of “Saving Private Ryan” all the way through.

Industriousness: The phrase “Protestant work ethic” becomes emasculated in one’s vocabulary after one gaze into the eyes of a farmer who labors 16 hours per day with a mule in these Catholic nations.

Competitiveness: Latin America features more competition in fields that we have left mostly to the government.

In Peru, you can find dozens of doctors’ offices side by side offering identical services at the lowest prices. Schooling for physicians and dentists takes three years less in Peru and is less rigorous, so confidence is based on the doctor’s reputation rather than his medical school. Patients pay for many services out of pocket, meaning patients seek cost-effective procedures, so you won’t find any 12-percent health care inflation here. You can get a root canal for around $80. Informally, pharmacists diagnose and prescribe medicines for simpler conditions.

Education is similar. A majority of the population sends its children to private schools, which compete against one another for students. The price of a private education is within the reach of families in the middle class, who live below the U.S. poverty threshold.

Still, the quality of health care is lower than in the United States. In pre-university education, the gap in quality is narrower. But this is a developing country, and the quality of cars is lower here, too. What matters is that the tradition of consumer-oriented medicine and education persist as people become wealthier and more informed. Peru’s economy grows quickly enough that it is only a matter of time before Americans head south for simple medical procedures and perhaps high school.

Shakira: I’m not one of those people who listens to Bon Jovi when my friends come over to show how ironic I am, nor one of those people who puts on a Mystikal CD to show how eclectic/crazy I am. So when I say that Shakira is incredible, it’s from the heart. Her songs have interesting chord progressions, structure that is complex but not confounding and stirring beats. Shakira herself can sing and dance, speaks two languages and is really hot.

Likewise, there is a storm coming for the U.S. rap industry, and his name is Daddy Yankee. Unlike most raperos in the reggaeton genre, Daddy Yankee’s flow is smooth enough to navigate the choppy but delicious latin melodies of his beats. Please don’t judge either of these artists by a small sample, though, because generally Latin artists amass hundreds of tracks over the years, many of questionable quality.

Nature: In the United States, people accumulate fortunes working in law firms, hospitals and brokerage houses, all to retire for a few years on a quaint farm. But what counts as an end goal for wealthy Americans – a traditional lifestyle in touch with nature – is daily life for millions here, who are poor in monetary terms. The views are breathtaking, the air is clean and none of the countryside gives off that awkward “we’re inefficient on purpose” vibe you get in a folk art shop.

Family: If you stay with a family in Latin America, expect to feel like you are in a commercial pretty often. Families often congregate, smile and engage in unrealistic activities like going for a drive, jumping rope and watching movies while lying on the same bed. Have you ever heard of a kid who got picked up at school by both parents? At least once a day I find myself asking, “Who actually does this?” as I lose a family Uno card game. My host brothers don’t have the board game Trouble, but if they did I expect that, in response to their mother’s entering the room and inquiring about their activities, one brother would reply, “Gettin into Trouble!” and after my host mother smiled in approval, the other brother would chime, “It’s fun gettin into Trouble!”

Lewis respects Shakira for her music, honestly. E-mail him at [email protected].