Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2007 April Fools’ edition. It is… Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2007 April Fools’ edition. It is a work of fiction produced solely for entertainment value.

Athletics director Jeff Long knew when he hired Agnus Berenato to coach his women’s basketball program prior to the 2003 season that he was getting an ambitious woman.

But shortly after taking the program to its first-ever NCAA Tournament, Berenato is showing the savvy athletics director that she is intent on redefining the word “bold” just as successfully as she has turned the program from laughingstock to contender-on-the-rise.

In a surprise announcement last week, the fifth-year head coach announced that both she and her Panthers would not be participating in the Big East anymore.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

“We think we’re ready to make the jump to the men’s division now,” she said after the team bowed out to top-seeded Tennessee in the NCAA Tournament’s second round last month. “I feel we have accomplished a great deal already, why shouldn’t we try for something bigger?”

She paused for a moment, took off her glasses and stared the room of befuddled reporters down before laying down a defiant statement, one that caused one camera to hit the ground.

“We got next.”

While NCAA guidelines clearly prohibit the women from shifting into the men’s division, sources indicate that there is likely to be little resistance to the movement. For one reason or another, Big East commissioner Mike Tranghese is willing to let her try.

“At the time, we see no reason as to why Coach Berenato and her program can’t try to compete with the men,” he said in a statement. “We here at the Big East are all for equal opportunity employment, and that concept should extend to the court.”

As little sense as the migration might make to the casual observer, few have been able to build a strong case against Berenato’s desire. She inherited a program that had more scholarship players than wins each year. She has already been involved in the semi-finals of the WNIT and the second round of the school’s first-ever NCAA Tournament, both of which she guaranteed would happen.

With her high-energy and optimistic attitude, she has also put fans in the stands. Sure, there have been loyalty points at stake for those attending, but somebody like Berenato isn’t going to let that tarnish her development.

“I was told once that girls can do anything that boys can do,” she said with a smile. “Marcedes [Walker] and Shavonte [Zellous] give us a huge edge when it comes to competing with those who are bigger and faster than us. When you add in Mallorie Winn, I don’t see why we can’t win 10 games in the men’s conference.”

Winn, who recently won an appeal for a sixth year of eligibility after a knee injury forced her to the sideline for all of last season, will clearly give the Panthers a more competitive appearance. The shifty point guard is a seasoned veteran who will complement Walker and Zellous well, giving the offense more weapons to try to combat the exponential physicality the women are sure to see each night.

That doesn’t seem to bother Berenato, though.

“We can be physical if we want to be,” she said. “I think ‘Cedes is going to be fine inside. She protects the ball well, and she’s a great rebounder.”

A reporter then reminded Berenato that Walker and company would have trouble getting shots off inside with bigger opponents. She was reminded of an instance in the team’s second-round loss to Tennessee when Volunteer star Candace Parker swatted a Walker layup nearly out to mid-court.

“That’s what it is going to be like each and every night for you guys,” the reporter said.

“‘Cedes doesn’t care about that, I don’t care about that,” she said. “We can handle it.”

Long appears to be on his coach’s side.

“Agnus has done wonderful things so far, and I think she is one of those individuals who is always setting her sights on something higher,” he said. “I think she’d rather try to compete with the men than spend the years and years it will take to get this team deep into the NCAA Tournament. We are behind her decision to try and move this program forward.”

Berenato may be on to something in terms of accomplishment. The men’s program may have built a more recognizable program that has had more sustainable success in recent years, but last month it showed that the success doesn’t carry over into March. For the fourth time in six seasons, the Panthers were knocked out of the Sweet 16, a round that the program has never gotten past in a 64-team tournament. Berenato could accomplish more with one win in the men’s Big East than her counterpart has done in those seven years.

“We just really want to do this,” Winn said in a press conference the other day. “We have a lot of confidence in Coach, and if she thinks we can do it, we can do it. It’s like she told us, just because we’re girls, it doesn’t mean we can’t play with the boys.”

Pitt men’s basketball coach Jamie Dixon seems to think Berenato has a team that can do well in his league.

“Well obviously it’s a well-coached team. They do a lot of good things every game,” he said. “You look at the numbers with the passing, the assists and the few turnovers. I think Zellous gives them great minutes, and Walker is obviously a force inside.”

But when asked about the preliminarily March 1 matchup between the two Pitt teams, Dixon balked at the question.

“I thought Doyle gave us great minutes.”

Perhaps the biggest question facing the entire athletics department, though, is: Does this move make any sense? Berenato seems to think so, and she has the higher-ups on her side.

“She is a very ambitious woman. I’d like to see anybody try to tell her she can’t do something,” Long said of his coach. “I’m not entirely sure she will listen to you.”