My car’s been vibrating when it reaches speeds between 50 and 60 mph, so I took it to Midas… My car’s been vibrating when it reaches speeds between 50 and 60 mph, so I took it to Midas to have the tires balanced. Now I’m sitting in the waiting area. My laptop’s up and running and I’m writing on and on about privacy. I’ve got this nifty bit about doors that segues nicely into a sort of Big Brother/Bush rant.

There’s this short lady with an odd black hat and a loud voice that’s at once shrill and endearing. She’s one of those middle-aged women failing completely to pull off the whole mid-20s look. But she knows it, and her continued efforts add a certain eccentricity to her presence. I enjoy the eccentric as much — probably much more — than the next guy. She’s kvetching to the guy at the desk, who really is in his mid-20s, and the waiting area’s kind of small.

She’s ranting while I’m trying to write, so I decide to grab some earbuds from my backpack, jam them into my laptop and mute her. Before I can, she changes the topic again, and like the eavesdropping procrastinator I am, I keep pounding the keys and half listening. I hear the words “health,” “insurance” and “mandatory.” I stop typing and involuntarily join the conversation.

“Wait. What? Health insurance? Mandatory?” I sputter.

She plays with the massive Walkman-looking thing hanging around her neck as she answers, “Yeah. I just heard about it on the news. Some state up north is trying to make health insurance mandatory for everyone like car insurance is. Plus, you know if it happens there, it’ll happen everywhere in the country.”

“No,” I say. “That’s not possible. It’d have to be subsidized. It really would be an unfunded mandate. It’s got to be unconstitutional. I suppose wealth isn’t a protected class, but —“

“Come on,” she interrupts. “They don’t really care about the Constitution. They make whatever laws they want. They’re not representing us anymore.”

“They couldn’t get away with that,” I protest.

I like discussion. I want debate. I’m glad to discover that people are talking about important issues while getting their oil changed, but there’s something amiss. I’m coming across as somewhat conservative. I’m defending the system.

I take a step back and try to make the argument that it just wouldn’t work out. It’s not that the government wouldn’t try to violate the people. It’s that they couldn’t do it this way.

“The government can mandate all they want, but if people don’t have the money, they can’t buy insurance. Minimum wage for 40 hours a week would be about $200, and that’s before taxes. $200 is around what it would cost a month for insurance.”

“$148. Just bought it online last night. Aetna,” contributed the Midas guy.

Turns out, the bill is more practical than this dame made it sound — at least according to The Washington Post’s article, “Mass. Bill Requires Health Coverage,” which ran on April 5th.

The state is Massachusetts. The plan is to fine folks who don’t report their health insurance plans on their tax returns. The fine is half what it would have cost for the lowest-priced insurance plan available to them, plus a little more for good measure.

There will be subsidies. There will be far more plans than there are now. Income will be factored in. Privacy and freedom will be compromised for safety.

Is the cost, measured in freedom and privacy, worth the guarantee of health care for everyone? Slippery-slope arguments aside, this is precisely the kind of transaction that government’s about. I surrender an amount my freedom in order to gain some benefit, like national defense, roads, public education or being spied on.

It’s a hard call. I’m not sure whether or not I’d trade the freedom not to have health insurance for the ability to have it regardless of my income. I don’t, however, see why I should have to choose. If the government in Massachusetts can make health insurance available to everyone, they should do it. They should provide the option. They should make signing up incredibly easy, but they shouldn’t make enrollment mandatory.

Burn the puppets with Zak Sharif at [email protected].