Why Winthrop will win it all

By BRIAN WEAVER

Bracketology schmacketology.

All the experts will tell you why you should put money on a big… Bracketology schmacketology.

All the experts will tell you why you should put money on a big name team in your NCAA pool, or why some team’s drive to their conference tournament gave them the momentum they need to go all the way.

But you don’t need them. The road to the championship is mapped out in front of you. Just take a look at your bracket. Staring back at you are 65 teams who have fought among themselves this year. If you use the chain rule, you can find out exactly who will win it all.

The chain rule states that if one traces who lost to whom within the field, he can eventually find his way to a champion. For instance, if A lost to B who lost to C, then C is your champion, because transitively, A would lose to C, as well.

Because of inconsistency in schedules among this year’s tournament participants, the chain rule becomes more of a family-tree shape. But no worries — you can still extract the information you need.

If you just trace your way through the teams, you can find out what no expert on ESPN will ever tell you — Winthrop will win this year’s NCAA tournament.

Go ahead, call me crazy. But look at how the season played out in Division I.

For instance, your gut instinct is to pick a good team. Let’s say you choose Oklahoma. It makes sense, because it beat Southern, another tournament team. But Oklahoma lost to Kansas, which lost to Texas.

Texas has an impressive resume — it beat Memphis, a team that beat Alabama-Birmingham — but it lost to Texas A’M, which lost to Pacific, which dropped a game to Nevada. Nevada knocked off Utah State, but lost to UCLA.

UCLA looks like it could be competitive for the title, because Air Force lost to San Diego State. San Diego State also knocked off Albany, but lost to California, which lost to UCLA. But keep in mind that the Bruins lost to Washington, which beat Gonzaga earlier this year.

Washington couldn’t win the tourney, though, because it lost to Arizona, which lost to Michigan State, which lost to Illinois, which fell to Ohio State. The Buckeyes also boast a win over Belmont, champion of the Sun Belt Conference. But to put your money on Ohio State would be silly.

After all, the Buckeyes lost to Iowa, which lost to Northern Iowa, which lost to Bradley, a team that fell to Wichita State, a team that boasts a win over Northwestern State. The Shockers couldn’t handle Southern Illinois earlier this year, though, a team that lost to Monmouth.

Monmouth lost to Oral Roberts, which lost to Montana. The Grizzlies fell to Wisconsin-Milwaukee, which lost to the Badgers of Wisconsin. Wisconsin also looks impressive when you figure that Hampton lost to George Mason, which lost to North Carolina-Wilmington, which lost to Wisconsin. But the Badgers could never win the title this year because they lost to Indiana, which lost to Duke.

Now, Duke is terribly solid pick. It’s hard for many people to imagine a championship celebration that doesn’t involve J.J. Reddick cutting down a net with Coach K looking on approvingly. After all, it seems like every single team in the Southeast has to look up to the Blue Devils.

Murray State and South Alabama both dropped games to Tennessee, and the Volunteers lost to conference rival Arkansas, which lost to Kentucky, which lost to LSU. But Baby Shaq and the Tigers have their own problems, as they lost to Florida. The Gators struggled with South Carolina and finally exorcised that demon in the Southeastern Conference championship game, but they lost earlier this year to Alabama.

Alabama dropped a game to North Carolina State. The Wolfpack boasts its own impressive resume, as it handed George Washington its only regular season loss of the year, the same GW squad that knocked off Xavier in conference play.

However, NC State couldn’t handle North Carolina, which fell to Boston College just last week, which fell to — you guessed it — Duke.

But hang on! I hope you didn’t write Duke’s name on the champion’s line yet, because the Blue Devils stumbled against Georgetown. Syracuse downed the Hoyas, and also had wins over Kent State and Davidson at the beginning of the year.

Don’t let those wins or the heroic run through the Big East Tournament fool you, though. The Orange fell to Bucknell earlier this year at home. Bucknell lost to Villanova, which beat Penn on their way to an undefeated season in Philadelphia’s Big Five but lost its undefeated Big East run to West Virginia. The Mountaineers lost to Pitt, which lost its final home game against Seton Hall, the same team that knocked off Iona.

Seton Hall lost to conference co-champions Connecticut, though, and who can forget Steve Novak’s performance as Marquette beat UConn in their first-ever Big East game.

It doesn’t matter though, because Marquette lost to none other than the Winthrop. And so, we arrive at our champions for 2006 — the Winthrop Eagles.

Brian Weaver is the assistant sports editor of The Pitt News. He urges you to take the above for what it is — a joke — and not bet any houses or 401K plans on a Winthrop national title. E-mail him at [email protected].