The impact of the community on the family has been significant throughout the years…. The impact of the community on the family has been significant throughout the years. Generations of families were raised on the principle “it takes a village to raise a child.” Yet when I was born that village disappeared. Families in my community seem to stay to themselves. What happened to the village community-structure?

My father, who grew up in the 1950s, often talks about the relationship between the community and his family.

The people in the community were an extended part of the family. During this time it was safe to leave doors unlocked. My father could walk into his neighbor’s house and feel at home; while when I was a child, I never imagined walking into a neighbor’s house without knocking.

Also, people often assisted when times were hard. They helped with the necessities of life – food, clothing and shelter – in addition to emotional and spiritual healing. For my father, life felt a lot easier when he was part of this network.

The community also offered the firm hand of discipline when a neighboring family’s child became rowdy. For instance, my father decided to play a horrible trick on his friend.

One day he decided to teach a “greedy” friend of his a lesson. He placed a laxative inside of a candy bar. Then he told his friend to eat it, but not to open his eyes until after he ate the whole candy bar. Unfortunately, his friend ate the candy and spent the rest of the night in the hospital. For this naughty trick, my grandparents spanked my father and the community scolded him.

However, if my father grew up today he would only receive a smack on the wrist. It seems as if children today have no one to answer to at all.

For instance, when my cousin was five he was extremely disrespectful to his parents. He would yell and say, “Don’t make me hit you,” when he was upset.

The pinnacle of his misbehavior was reached in a tuxedo shop; he ran around the store and almost knocked down the mannequin. Surprisingly, his parents weren’t angry at all. They said he was only “expressing his feelings.”

Our communities are alienated. A friendly smile seems to be as common as seeing a bear walking on Forbes Avenue. Many cities are plagued with crime and frustration. Doors that were once opened are locked while neighbors hide inside.

The complex lives faced by families today require more community involvement. A child needs supportive parents, safe neighborhoods, great teachers and adult mentors. Children need positive role models who will help to create a sense of social and civic responsibility; the community can provide just that.

According to Robert D. Putnam’s book “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community,” family dinners have decreased by 33 percent and attending club meetings – as a family – has decreased by 58 percent.

Families aren’t spending enough time together. As a child, family time was important to me. I told my family the exciting adventures I had during the day – or at least what I thought was exciting. It also allowed me to learn more about my parents by listening to their stories; how else would I have learned about my dad’s pranks?

Our neighbors can be the support system that is often overlooked. Communicating with your neighbors is a great way to exhibit social interaction. Bringing in positive adult role models from the community can show children the importance of positive social interaction. Also, it is a great way to know if your child is up to something, because a neighbor can be those extra eyes and ears that a parent may need.

Being part of this network is a great way to exhibit good will and strong union between peers – which is the glue that holds a community together.

Just remember, you build a great neighborhood when you start being a good neighbor.

Become a part of Natasha’s extended family by e-mailing her at [email protected].