What does every car in the country seem to have on it? No, not license plates.

Magnetic… What does every car in the country seem to have on it? No, not license plates.

Magnetic ribbons have become the new socially conscious fashion statement, displaying such worthy causes as “Support Our Troops,” “Find a Cure” and “Go Pittsburgh.” A recent addition is the blue “Support Tsunami Victims” ribbon. They are becoming the fuzzy dice of the season: No self-respecting car owner could be without one.

That is, unless they are stolen. A columnist at the Chicago Sun-Times reported getting more than a hundred letters from people who had cause ribbons peeled off their cars.

“Are there petty thieves so low as to swipe car ribbons pledging support for American troops or advocating a cure for breast cancer?” he asked.

Apparently there are, and there are quite a lot of them. I have yet to see the point of yellow and pink ribbons on the black market, considering you can get them from Wal-Mart for $1.97. Are people embarrassed to be seen at the checkout line with a support magnet?

Of course not! You’re just jumping on the bandwagon, and a righteous one at that. You’re supporting the armed sons and daughters of the United States, or fighting a lethal disease. At least, you were hoping the Steelers would win. You even paid to do it.

In fact, some Americans cover their cars with so many noble causes that it looks they’re engaging in some sort of “ribbon-measuring” contest with fellow motorists.

But a common misconception among the proud masses of ribbon-bearing car owners is that their money actually went to support a cause, and that’s not necessarily true.

Some small businesses buy the ribbons in bulk from manufacturers and then sell them at higher prices, giving the proceeds to the American Legion or other accredited organizers of support for overseas troops. But they are cheaper online or at superstores, usually because the proceeds are not going to aid the causes they are emblazoned with.

A few Web sites, such as www.bumperstickermagnet.com, expressly say that a portion of the proceeds go to Intrepid Fallen Heroes Funds or the American Cancer Society. Unless a statement appears like that, the chances are ribbons bought online are only helping to line the pockets of business owners who are riding the wave of popularity.

Can they do this? Sure. This is America, and they’re free to do as they wish. But if people want to actually support the troops — not just say they are — they have to be more careful about who they buy from.

It’s very easy to do: ask.

It’s illegal for companies to lie about where the proceeds go. If a company doesn’t donate ribbon profits to an organization you know of, don’t buy the ribbon from them. If you have enough time and energy, press them to begin donating.

Also, if people are after supporting the troops or finding a cure for breast cancer, without the ribbon’s fashion statement, that’s equally easy.

Where did the yellow ribbon come from anyway? It began long before the first Gulf War, the Vietnam-era song about them, or even the United States Cavalry men who wore them in the 1870s.

When Oliver Cromwell was preparing to wage war against the royalty of England in 1642, he had little time and even fewer supplies. His troops had no uniform, so they tied yellow ribbons around their arms so they wouldn’t kill each other. The troops’ families began wearing them in support of their cause.

Yes, the all-American yellow ribbon came from the English Civil War.

Unless you support a Puritan takeover of the British monarchy, there’s no need for a yellow ribbon. Donate the money you would spend on one directly to an aid organization or research institute. That way, you know the money — all of it — is going precisely where it needs to: to support the troops or to fight for the cure.

And, every time you see a magnetic ribbon on a car, you can honestly say you are doing what they might only be showing off about. But if you’re going to buy a “Go Pittsburgh” ribbon, go ahead. The Steelers don’t need the money.

Michael Mastroianni advocates stiffer penalties for magnetic ribbon thieves. Join his cause at [email protected].