Dear Sex N’at Readers:

Before I get started with this week’s question, I must address… Dear Sex N’at Readers:

Before I get started with this week’s question, I must address something I said last week. In telling a questioner how to do the mattress mambo in places other than on a mattress, I advised them to, “get into the habit of keeping whatever form of protection you use in your pocket,” so they could get ready to bump uglies at a moment’s notice. This was less-than-stellar advice. See, if that form of protection is a latex condom, and last week’s adventurers start keeping condoms in their pockets at all times, disaster could be looming.

Keeping a condom that close to a warm body for any length of time can cause the latex to deteriorate, greatly lessening its effectiveness. Keeping a condom in a wallet, too, is a terrible idea, because it gets sat on and possibly poked by bills. I knew a girl years ago who kept her stash in an Altoids tin in her purse. That was contraceptive innovation, and I’d advise all of you to try doing the same or something similar. If you know that you’ll be boning very shortly and you want to slip one in your pocket, just for a very short time, that’s okay, but do not store them there.

Dear Sex N’at:

As with most college campuses, Pitt has its share of on-campus romances, but it also has its share of long-distance relationships, for example, myself. It’s kind of hard to keep a long-distance relationship going, but we’re managing pretty well. We’ve both agreed to be monogamous and not sleep with other people ’cause we respect each other like that, and every time he blows into town, we can’t keep our hands off each other and it’s a pretty — ahem — gratifying time had by all. Quite a joyous reunion, let me tell you. The only problem is, with his visits to Pitt so few and far between, it doesn’t take long before I get too sore to accommodate, no matter how willing I am. Picture this: He’s ready, willing, and able, and I’m pretty ready and willing … but not quite as able. It’s kind of hard to enjoy playing hide-the-salami when it feels like I’m being rubbed raw down there, which is pretty frustrating, to say the least. I’ve checked it out with my gynecologist, and I’m free and clear, and I’ve also tried lube, to no avail. Any suggestions on any positions/methods/anything that might help a horny college girl out?

–Horny and Hurting

Dear Hurting:

Yeeeouch!

It’s tough having your whole sex life condensed into a few weekends, huh? Kudos to both of you for trying to make it work. Long distance monogamy is quite an undertaking, and it’s great to see you making a go of it. And, frankly, it probably makes the first few sessions that much more fun.

However, as into it as your mind clearly is, you need to be a bit more considerate of your body. Your vulva isn’t made to take that much of a workout, especially sporadically. But who wants to rest when Boyfriend Boy is around!

There’s no particular position that guards against the trouble you are having. It’s simply an issue of friction, which is what makes sex fun in the first place. So you need to reduce friction.

You say you’ve tried lube to no avail — I must profess skepticism. Are you using a high-quality lube, and not some flavored junk? I consider Astroglide to be the superior brand available. You can never use too much, and if it gets a little gummy, a few drops of water or saliva make it slippery again double-quick.

Is he helping to keep you aroused between rounds? Women can have oodles of orgasms, and there’s nothing like one to get you ready for Round 19.

Finally, if it’s simply too painful, there’s no reason to keep insisting on intercourse. Get creative with oral sex and handjobs. Gentle, slow cunnilingus can bring you to a mind-blowing, non-penetrative orgasm. Then, you can return the favor while you rest a bit.

Good luck, and happy humping!

Ask Melissa Meinzer a question at [email protected].