If you’re like most college students, you’re basically strapped for cash all the time. No… If you’re like most college students, you’re basically strapped for cash all the time. No matter what you do – whether it’s hustling fries at the O, baby-sitting for those bratty kids in Shadyside or donating your body and soul to Novum for research studies – the balance of your checking account just keeps dwindling to practically nothing. And with the lovely holiday season upon us, you’re more stressed-out than ever, wondering how on Earth you’re going to afford presents for your parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, significant others and Pitt celebrities you’ve been stalking since the beginning of fall semester.

Well, have no fear; the Poor Person’s Guide to Gift Buying is here! Here you’ll find suggestions to make everyone on your gift list happy without making you extremely bitter at having to part with your hard-earned cash.

Make your own presents

I know, it sounds so third grade. But if you want to start 2004 off with your bank account still intact, this is a pretty good way to go about it. No one’s asking you to paint a masterpiece of your best friend or whittle a complete dining room set out of mahogany wood for your parents, but you can do other things. For your boyfriend or girlfriend, you can make a scrapbook containing sentimental items, like pictures of the two of you, or the movie ticket stubs from your first date. If you’re knitting-inclined, why not make a scarf for your sister? And if you rival Emeril for finesse in the kitchen, bake some food and give it to your friends for the holidays.

Secret Santa

My friends and I decided last Christmas that, instead of having everyone buy a gift for every other person in our group, we would each choose one name from a hat and only buy something for that person, and it worked out really well. We imposed a spending limit of $20, and gathered together to exchange the gifts Christmas night. It’s a good way to ensure that you see all your friends from home during break, and since no one knows who’s buying for whom, there’s a little mystery in the mix as well.

Shop economically

You’d be amazed at the treasures you can find in thrift stores and bargain basements. Head to the nearest Goodwill and sift through the racks for funky clothes to give to your friends. Or go somewhere like Filene’s Basement and raid the store for good deals. If you go this route, however, be prepared to spend plenty of time and energy looking for the perfect gift.

Announce to your family and friends that, since you didn’t see a dime of President Bush’s massive, multi-billion dollar tax cut earlier this year, you don’t see how they could possibly expect you to afford presents for everyone when you’re living on a meager college student’s budget

But be sure to let them know you’re still expecting tons of presents from them. Prepare yourself for hostility and whining.

There you have it – some tips for keeping your head above the financial water this holiday season. Happy shopping!