MTV receives constant criticism for damaging girls’ self-esteem with its images of… MTV receives constant criticism for damaging girls’ self-esteem with its images of flawless females in minimal clothing. But there’s another culprit in town: the Food Network. Despite its ability to point out exactly what I am incapable of, I’m addicted. Rachael Ray, of the show 30 Minute Meals, is my heterosexual crush. She’s extremely delightful while creating a full dinner and dessert in 30 minutes. Even Martha Stewart, with her arrogance and abundance of lace, has me enthralled with the idea of cooking and homemaking. But soon enough, a commercial appears, and reality hits: I can’t cook my way out of a decorated paper bag.

Even boxed macaroni and cheese is a struggle. The milk, the butter, the powdered cheese packet – they overwhelm me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t end in the kitchen. Upon reading this, my mother will cry, shake her head and utter, “This isn’t how I raised you.” Aside from not cooking, I don’t vacuum, sew buttons, fold clothes or take out the garbage. The last time my roommates and I forced ourselves to clean our bathroom in preparation for guests, the event included splashing water and screaming in disgust, even though we failed to actually touch any of the room’s surfaces. Additionally, I have no idea how to change a diaper. Burping or feeding a baby? No clue. Basically, I’m a domestic nightmare.

Luckily, I don’t have to take responsibility for my absence of homemaking knowledge; rather, I blame it on a lack of education. In high school, home economics was never offered. Here at Pitt, we have nine areas of engineering: mechanical, electrical, chemical, industrial and others. Yet domestic engineering is nowhere to be found in our mammoth course-list book. There’s no minor in child rearing or certificate in family management.

Emphasis on women gaining a college education, achieving career dreams and working outside the home has increased tremendously over the years. “We just didn’t have the opportunities you girls have” are words my grandmother must hold a world record in repeating to my female cousins and me. And that’s fine and dandy for the career-driven women of the world, but what about their kids? If women are going to be encouraged to leave the home for work, then men should be encouraged to stay home. Ideally, men and women should receive equal praise for remaining at home with their children.

My roommates, two ambitious, brilliant women with QPAs saturated with As, and resumes with everything from German fluency to soap opera experience, could be successful in any profession. But their dream jobs are motherhood. I’m in a similar boat. However, when asked what we want to do after college, the terms law school, graduate school and corporate America leave our lips, while our desires to be stay-at-home moms are only discussed in the confines of our dorm room. Even though being a parent is the most rewarding and difficult job imaginable, people are not praised often enough for devoting a portion of their lives to child raising.

What’s beautiful about our high-tech world is that parents can stay at home and work at the same time. For someone who enjoys having her cake and eating it too, that’s my game plan. And with a little help from the Food Network, I’ll be able to have, eat and bake that cake.

Maria’s true calling is to be an unmarried housewife and childless, stay-at-home mom. E-mail her at [email protected].