Real Pitt

By BEN GREINER

It was a monumental night; a night of epic proportions, at least for The West Virginia… It was a monumental night; a night of epic proportions, at least for The West Virginia Mountaineers football team and New York Yankee veteran hurler Roger Clemens.

Seconds after the unranked Mountaineers defeated the third-ranked Virginia Tech Hokies 28-7 in West Virginia, Jimi flips the channel to game four of the World Series, where Roger Clemens was throwing the last pitches of his glorious major league baseball career, as thousands of flashbulbs went off in the sea of Florida Marlins fans.

And almost nobody is in the living room to witness it.

Sure, Jimi is watching, but he’s just procrastinating from doing school work. Sprawled out on the couch, he mumbles at some point: “I need a vacation.”

It’s probably safe to say Jimi isn’t the only one who wants a vacation. On this frigid October Pittsburgh night, almost nobody is outside. Maybe the menacing hands of Jack Frost are frightening people, keeping them from leaving their warm rooms, or maybe the dreaded “midterm season” is finally taking its toll.

Whatever the case, the boys of Bouquet are not exempt.

Besides work, are the guys busy trying to keep up appearances, with “The Real Pitt” in mind? A sign on the refrigerator in the apartment reads, “Reality: The leading cause of stress.”

“That’s why there’s ‘The Family Guy’,” says Jimi, referring to the animated show he’s now watching on television.

While Jimi procrastinates, Aaron and Chad are working on lab reports and Bob is busy studying for an anatomy test.

“This is my week from Hell,” says Aaron, listing the assignments he has due in the next week while heading for his room.

Meanwhile, Chad’s cooked some oatmeal and brewed a mug of warm tea. Brain food, perhaps?

“Horrible,” says Chad, taking a bite of his oatmeal and rising to clean his dishes. “All right, I gotta go do this lab.”

According to Chad, the guys aren’t always engulfed in work; they know how to party as well.

“When we party, we party hard. When we work, we work hard,” he says.

Moments later, Aaron emerges from his room, frustrated. Apparently, he’s not faring too well with his homework.

“I was about this close to throwing my computer out the window,” Aaron says, holding his right thumb and index finger about an inch apart.

Shortly thereafter, Bob enters, visibly tired, obviously from the toils of studying anatomy.

“How’s the studying going?” Chad asks.

“Oh, it’s still going,” Bob says with a sigh.

None of the guys seem like they want to do work. Jimi’s given up and has retreated to the confines of his room. The other three guys head down the hall, toward their rooms, following Jimi’s lead – maybe to study, maybe to sleep.

They chat in the hall for a few moments about Chemistry and Engineering, but the conversation soon becomes one in which memories of past shenanigans are brought to light.

“Remember that time we stole 25 cases of student directories from the Sutherland Hall lobby our freshman year?” someone asks.

“Oh, man, that was classic,” retorts someone else. “It took us weeks to throw those away without getting caught.”

“And remember ‘Psycho Witch,’ that crazy girl that liked Jimi?” Bob asks.

“That girl drove me nuts!” exclaims Chad. “I remember the time she fell out of Jimi’s top bunk and landed face-first on the floor.”

As the night fades on, the guys reminisce about more antics, inside jokes and insane people they knew. Sure, the conversation may not be exciting to an outsider, and sure, it may be childish, but for these guys, it’s a fun way to forget about lab reports and anatomy tests.

And it’s a way to forget reality.