Dear Sex N’at:

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‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ While I was standing around with some of my co-workers… Dear Sex N’at:

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‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ While I was standing around with some of my co-workers during some down time, one of my co-workers, let’s call him Jason, asked me if I would ‘f—‘ a female customer he had just helped.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ When I decided to just ignore the question he asked me again. A female co-worker, let’s call her Lisa, had been listening the whole time and had said nothing at this point. She had been a topic of the same type of discussion with Jason only a couple minutes ago in which I had again said nothing.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘I’d make her bleed, wouldn’t you?’ he prodded.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Granted, I would’ve liked to have sex with this girl but I’m not going to scream that in public, nor would I’ve had expressed it in those terms.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Lisa only smiled and said, ‘What’s wrong, you got to tear that s— up.’

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Then she said something that really burned me. She said, ‘You’re just a nice boy.’

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ What irked me was the condescending tone in which she said it and the fact that she used the term ‘boy’ to describe me. I don’t have the sexual experience that either one of them have by a long shot but it irks me that people think you’re still a kid because you’re not as sexually experienced as they are.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ If you’ve bothered to read this far, which, if you have, probably means you’ve got the patience of a saint, my question is, am I being a prude?

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Am I taking some commonplace joshing harder than I should?

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Should I lighten up?

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Am I so far behind in the sexual revolution that women can joke about such things but I can’t?

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Confused and Pissed Off

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Dear CAPO:

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ What a revolting — and unfortunately, commonplace — scenario you’ve described. I don’t know who is more defective: Jason or Lisa. Maybe she called you a boy, but you were the only adult in the situation.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Jason is disgusting, not for thinking he like to make sweet love to — or, ya know, assault — an attractive customer. He’s a sad little boy because he decided to foist his sexual impulses on you and Lisa in the most vulgar terms possible. He has no confidence in himself as a sexual being, and thus has to resort to puerile displays of chest-pounding and dick-showing.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Look, we’ve all got sex drives. Whether we act on them or not, everyone’s had a moment where they come across someone who revs their engine and makes all thoughts but those of doin’ the nasty leave their head. This is normal and healthy. Informing your co-workers of such a moment shows a complete lack of respect for social boundaries. What a social retard Jason is.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ On to Miss Lisa. She has absolutely no self-esteem and she’s afraid to try relating to men as a human being, not just as a receptacle for morons like Jason. She was too scared to stand up to a Neanderthal like Jason, for fear of being branded — heavens, no! — a feminist, or some other species who won’t let the Jasons of the world talk to her like that. She was too afraid to tell him what a disgusting animal he was being, so she played along, and you, the real man in the room, provided an easy scapegoat so she could further escape dealing with Jason’s boorish behavior.

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The sexual revolution did indeed open up sexual discourse between men and women. The scenario you describe wasn’t discourse. It was two immature idiots unable to carry on any sort of useful dialogue, so they resorted to bathroom humor and finger-pointing. What a shame for them.

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Melissa Meinzer often has vulgar thoughts, but never voices them inappropriately. Okay, two weeks in a row of lies in the tagline. Ask her a question at [email protected].