So I sat this Thanksgiving, alone with my bottle of raspberry Stoli, Sprite and a piece of… So I sat this Thanksgiving, alone with my bottle of raspberry Stoli, Sprite and a piece of pumpkin pie – you know, to feel festive.

Lucky for me it appears that I’m not the only poor sap spending the day alone – Giant Eagle had tons of prepackaged single slices of pumpkin pie for sale. If you ask me, the best part of pumpkin pie is having it buried in whipped cream, but I didn’t have any. I spent the last of my money on the Stoli.

As I sat there drinking my drink and eating my single piece of pie without whipped cream, I decided that enough was enough. This is the last time I am doing this. This Christmas I’m switching it up!

So this year I’m spending Christmas volunteering in a homeless shelter. I would have gone right then, but since I already had drank half of the bottle of Stoli, I decided that it was in my – and everyone else’s – best interest that I not drive.

This Christmas I am going to realize that I have it pretty damn good. I am alive and am in good health. I have a home and I have friends. I do well in school and, despite the tuition increases, I usually have meals.

So what’s my problem?

My family is Jehovah’s Witness, which means they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. They don’t celebrate any holidays – Christmas, New Year’s or otherwise. In fact, they don’t even celebrate their own birthdays. They believe that all of the holidays have some sort of pagan origin or lack Biblically mandated reasons for celebration. The only day they observe is Passover, since Jesus commanded in the Bible to keep doing it in remembrance of him.

I suppose I could still go spend these days at my parents’ house even though there might not be a turkey or a red and green glow in the living room, but I’m not very popular with my father, stepmother and brothers these days. I wouldn’t say that I am not allowed there but I also don’t expect dinner invitations anytime soon.

I usually don’t think much about this until I am forced to. Thanksgiving and Christmas make me think about it. These are horrible days. I have no place to go. All of my friends are with their families. Everything is closed short of a few gas stations, and there is nothing good on television besides football games.

Since I have nothing to do or watch, and doing homework would be too practical, I sit there and feel sorry for myself. I think to myself, poor me, poor me. Poor me that my family is in a borderline cult religion. Poor me they think I am damned in the eyes of God. Poor me that almost everyone has some place to go but me.

I began what seems to have become a tradition a few years ago to cope with such self-pity. I purchase a bottle of Stoli the day before and get really, really, incredibly drunk and end up blacking out most of the day. The next day it’s over and I can move on. This Thanksgiving was not to be any different.

Don’t get me wrong. I do have acquaintances and a few friends. Once they are reminded or find out that I don’t have any place to go they give me a pity invitation to their house with their family whom I have never met, and I always graciously thank them and turn them down. I might feel sorry for myself, but I will be damned if I will let anyone else feel sorry for me.

There are other reasons for my refusal to their kind invitation. At a friend’s house I would have to be on my best behavior. I would have to be very kind and helpful; everything would be “yes,” “please” and “thank you very much.” I would worry about being witty and funny and holding up my end of the conversation.

Furthermore, going there would make me more bitter than I already am. I would see the fun that their family has together. While witnessing what a family should be, I would wish even more that my family was similar. I would have to struggle with all of this on one of my very few days off. No, thank you.

Then I thought to myself, so what that my family is different and they don’t care for me. Whose family truly is normal? I would imagine that a lot of people might much rather be in my shoes and not have to deal with their family.

This Christmas I am spending the evening with the less fortunate. Instead of being bitter about not receiving gifts, I am going to give a gift that I can’t give back: my time. I think that sounds rather Christian, if I do say so myself. Some might argue that is more Christian than what actually goes on Christmas day. Plus, how badly can I really feel for myself when people that don’t have homes and regular meals surround me?

I have a feeling that even though the holidays aren’t the most wonderful time of the year, they don’t have to be so bad, either. Hopefully when people ask me how my Christmas was this year, it will be the first time that I won’t be lying when I respond, “Awesome, just what I needed.”

Todd Brandon Morris wishes that everyone has a happy holiday season. E-mail him your favorite homeless shelter at [email protected].