Casual Fridays, 10/17/2014

By The Pitt News Editorial Board

¡Polly quiere un cracker!

After going missing for four years, a pet parrot finally made its way home last Monday. When reunited with the parrot, Nigel, his owner, couldn’t believe his eyes — or his ears. In his absence, the formerly English-speaking bird apparently picked up Spanish, according to his owner. In other news, Taco Bell has announced that it has a new animal mascot. 

Raiding the stash

Seeing that marijuana is now legal in Colorado, cannabis candy has naturally become a popular treat among residents. In light of its growing popularity, Denver police have delivered a unique warning to parents — your kid may have more than just sugar-based treats in her Halloween basket. “ … we thought it was important to alert the community to the possibility that it’s easy to mistake what looks like regular candy with a marijuana edible,” said Denver Police spokesman, Lt. Matt Murray. Our warning for kids: watch out for your parents taking more candy out of your bag than usual.

Mop attack

According to a police report in Bristol, Conn., a man has been arrested for “mopping aggressively.”  Apparently, the man, who was visiting the local Double Tree Hotel at the time, was displeased with a hotel employee’s mopping skills. So, he decided to grab the mop from her and mop over her shoes as he insulted her. As it turns out, Mr. Clean is kind of a jerk.

Hot for teacher

Jessica Vanessa, a Florida kindergarten teacher, has left teaching to pursue a more profitable career. “What I make in six seconds would take me four months to make as a teaching assistant,” she told Barcroft TV.  So what exactly is her new career? She twerks on the popular video sharing site Vine. She apparently has more than 2 million followers and has made a butt-load in endorsement money. The lesson here? Quit your day job.

The nightmare before Christmas

In St. Paul, Minn., officers responded to a home invasion on Wednesday night. But, when they arrived, they didn’t find the typical robber with a ski-mask on — rather, they found a man dressed up as a zombified version of Santa Claus. Local college student Brock Quinn Johnson, 21, had participated in a Zombie Pub Crawl that night and apparently decided to incorporate the Christmas spirit into his zombie costume. Having drunk too much, he apparently wandered into a house that wasn’t his, thus prompting his arrest. However, police say it would’ve been fine if he broke in through the chimney.