(Don’t) go bananas!

Monkeys at Paignton Zoo in England have been placed on a strange dietary restriction: no bananas. Amy Plowman, head of field conservation and research at the zoo, explained that the bananas grown for human consumption are often higher in sugar content than those that grow in the wild, comparing bananas to cake and chocolate for the monkeys. She said the large amount of sugar in the fruit has a negative effect on monkeys’ teeth and can lead to diabetes and gastrointestinal issues. Zookeepers still feed the monkeys bananas on occasion, most frequently when they are ill and the zookeepers can hide medication in the fruit. Regardless, we think this zoo is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Access: Denied

A lingerie brand in Japan has designed a bra that prevents women from being too quick in their romantic choices. The bra has sensors installed in the cups connected to a mobile device that analyzes the user’s heartbeat. If the wearer is determined to be in love, then the clasp of the bra will open. The device is able to differentiate between different heart-racing activities, such as running, flirting and love. When the wearer lays eyes on someone they are interested in, the bra’s clasp will glow pink. Once the wearer’s heartbeat reaches a certain threshold, the clasp opens. Although this is a novel idea, it’s probably easier to throw it back to your adolescent days and hand your crush a “Check yes, no or maybe” note.

BEY 101

Take note, Beyonce fans: Rutgers University is offering a class based on the singer. This Beyonce class falls on the heels of Rutgers’ class on the theology of Bruce Springsteen that began being offered last year. The class, “Politicizing Beyonce,” examines gender, sexuality and racial politics through the lens of Beyonce’s relationship to pop culture. The class offerings also include learning how to put everything you own in a box to the left and an explanation of who runs the world.

Pants on Fire

An eighth grader in Kennebunks, Maine, wasn’t a liar, but her pants caught on fire after the iPhone in her back pocket cracked and sparked. The girl had just sat down for class when she heard a pop, shortly followed by smoke billowing from her back pocket. The girl stopped, dropped and rolled to put out the flames before being taken to the hospital for burn injuries. It was determined that the phone’s battery shorted out when the girl sat down on it. This may have been the only time that a butt dial to the fire department would be excusable.