Casual Fridays 11-8-13

By The Pitt News Editorial Staff

Little duffel bag boy

Police were called in Boca Raton, Fla., by someone who claimed they saw a woman’s arm poke out of a duffel bag a man was putting into a car. Police responding to the call questioned Jared Mustrat and his girlfriend, Jessica Tosi, about the incident. Mustrat explained that he was staying in a halfway house for men that did not allow overnight visitors. He had put Tosi in the bag in order to sneak her into the building. Tosi said she got into the bag voluntarily. It would appear that Mustrat’s given the term “body bag” a whole new meaning.

See you later, alligator

 

A small alligator was found in a baggage claim area in O’Hare Airport last Friday. Maintenance workers discovered the 25-inch reptile under an escalator. The workers captured the animal in a trash can and turned it over to the Chicago Herpetological Society. How the alligator made its way into the airport is unknown, but it’s been confirmed that the creature has joined the ranks of the TSA — Totally Stealthy Alligators.

Pulling teeth

A man in Almond, N.Y., was shocked when he bit into a Snickers bar last week only to discover a human tooth hidden in the candy. Robert Galvan, who has had a three-Snickers-per-day habit for years, was immediately sick to his stomach after the discovery. Later in the week, Galvan went to see a dentist, who told him that one of his own teeth had broken off and become lodged in the candy bar. Perhaps Galvan didn’t notice his own tooth had broken because “you’re not you when you’re hungry.”

Makeout Madness

On Oct. 22, Stanford University held its annual Full Moon on the Quad event: a large gathering of students ready to welcome each other back to school with kisses. The interclass gathering is a university-sanctioned event usually held under the first full moon of the semester. Although it is seen by health professionals as a breeding ground for the flu and mono, it has been impossible for administration to ban the event. It makes us wonder how the Pitt administration and students would react to a mouth-to-mouth marathon on the Cathedral Lawn.

The morning after

A man in Piotrkow, Poland, woke up in the dark, disoriented and presumed dead. Marek Michalski had a few too many one night and fell asleep on a park bench. Hours later, Michalski was found without a pulse and taken to a nearby hospital morgue by paramedics, who assumed that he had passed away. The next morning, Michalski woke up in the morgue zipped in a body bag. Luckily, hospital staff were able to find him and release him after his early-morning screams broke the cold, dead silence of the morgue.

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