satire Archives - Page 3 of 9

Editorial | Top 10 things to do while awaiting election results

By The Pitt News Editorial Board • November 6, 2020

It’s unclear when we’re going to get finalized presidential election results. Or sleep. Here are the top 10 things we’re going to do in the meantime.

Editorial | Top 10 things we did on Self-Care Day

By The Pitt News Editorial Board • October 22, 2020

Here are the top 10 things we did on Student Self-Care Day. You can infer for yourself whether or not there was any care involved.

Satire | What is homecoming anyway?

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • October 20, 2020

Senior Staff Columnist Alex Dolinger ponders the meaning of homecoming and why we celebrate it.

Poetry | Ode to an oven

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • October 16, 2020

Senior Staff Columnist Alex Dolinger laments the fact that they can’t use their oven in this groundbreaking poem.

Satire | Things in my South Oakland apartment that just make sense

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • October 13, 2020

Read about the charm, the class and the elegance that goes hand-in-hand with renting a apartment in South Oakland.

Satire | October Horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Assistant Opinions Editor • October 8, 2020

It’s October. I’m exhausted, the stars are exhausted and I’m sure you’re exhausted. Take a break from your midterms and endless Zoom calls to see what kind of advice and insight the stars have decided you need this month.

Satire | A day in the life of midterms as told through my HP Envy

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • October 8, 2020

She logs into Canvas, pulls up her work and bounces between the four essays that she has due in the next 48 hours.

Satire | Running thoughts from a certified unathletic person

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • September 25, 2020

Read this and take part in the journey of an unathletic person rediscovering what it means to run.

Satire | Top 10 grocery items for serotonin production

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • September 22, 2020

Here are my top 10 Target picks this fall:

Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • September 17, 2020

When this all began, I was pretty optimistic. I thought after a couple weeks of working out and baking some stupid bread, we would be on track for a normal school year.