This is a satirical piece — no forks were harmed in the making of this article.

Pittsburgh public safety crews serve addresses regardless of tax status, but some high-call-volume locations — including dorms — don’t generate taxes to support them.

The bathrooms in Litchfield Tower B will soon receive a face-lift, following project approval by the properties and facilities committee of the Board of Trustees.

The Pitt News A&E staff reviews all of Pitt’s freshman dorms in the style of a movie, album or video game review.  Disclaimer: Since none of our staff lived in or was familiar with Forbes Hall, we were...