You’ll never believe what happened when Tyga crashed the Indoor Show


By Shawn Cooke / A&E Editor

Editor’s Note: This is a satirical story.

Halfway into “The Show Goes On,” Tyga took to the Fitzgerald Field House stage at the annual Indoor Show on Saturday and grabbed the mic from Lupe Fiasco.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t offer you a guest spot on this joint — that was ‘Dumb It Down,’” Fiasco said.

Over a sea of boos and Fiasco’s complaints, the Compton rapper broke into his feminist anthem, “Rack City,” anyway. The DJ — unprepared for this jarring shift — kept playing the backing track to Fiasco’s hit song.

Fiasco finally wrestled the mic away from Tyga, said, “no, I’m the motherf*cking star,” and called security to escort the “Faded” and fading star off the stage.

In a post-show press conference, Tyga insisted that reporters shed the acronym and address him by his full name, Thank You God Always. He also explained why he dropped in at Pitt more than a year after his scheduled appearance at the Indoor Hip-Hop Show.

“I got this app on my phone that keeps track of events and sh*t — it’s called Calendar,” Thank You God Always said. “For some reason, that thing turned back a year, and I thought it was 2013 when it was 2014. Until a few minutes ago, I thought it was still 2014.”

Thank You God Always regrets his mistake, and he wondered what other obligations he might have missed out on in the past few years.

“I’ve just been so busy keeping [the rapper’s pornographic website] updated with new content, that it wouldn’t surprise me if I’ve missed an entire North American tour,” Thank You God Always said.

When asked about the future of, the rapper became cagey and tried to divulge as little as possible about the site.

“It’s still a work in progress. I can’t say much, but I will say this — ‘Rack City’ might soundtrack all of my films. They’re all pretty Kubrickian,” Thank You God Always said.

Although student attendees were baffled by Thank You God Always’ surprise appearance, some were pleased with his song selection.

“I was surprised and a little insulted that he crashed Lupe’s set like that,” Christopher Pratt, a freshman anthropology major, said. “But to be honest, ‘Rack City’ is one of my all-time favorite songs, behind only Nickelback’s ‘Gotta Be Somebody.’”

Thank You God Always stressed that, if the security guards hadn’t taken him away, he would have performed tracks from his recently released collaboration with Chris Brown, Fan of a Fan: The Album. But since Brown was unavailable, the rapper planned to perform both of their parts from the record.

“Working with Chris has truly been a blessing. He’s just the greatest guy,” Thank You God Always said.

After another reporter brought up Brown’s 2009 domestic violence case, Thank You God Always found another technological explanation for his poor character judgment.

“Man, my CNN app must be broken, too,” Thank You God Always said.