Editorial | Top 10 Pitt-related sports that should be added to the Olympics

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TPN File Photo

A housing cart in the Schenley Quadrangle.

By The Pitt News Editorial Board

The Winter Olympics are finally here. While Nathan Chen and Shaun White have been killing it for Team USA, we couldn’t help but wonder if there could be any more additions to the games. Here are our ideas for new sports that should be added to the Olympics and our bid for the 2026 Olympics to take place on Pitt’s campus.

  • Housing cart bobsled

Move over “Cool Runnings,” there’s a new underdog bobsled team in the works. The beloved blue housing carts that somehow appear in the most random places in South Oakland would make the perfect bobsleds. Just put two people in a cart and push them down Flagstaff Hill — we’re sure they would get the gold.

  • Ice skating on the South Oakland sidewalks

Perfecting the perfect axel jump on the many, MANY patches of black ice in South Oakland would be a sight to see. Dodging all the people trying to go out to the bars while slipping and sliding on the ice adds an extra challenge to the already difficult sport of figure skating. Don’t worry if you slip, you aren’t too far away from UPMC Presbyterian!

  • Walking up Cardiac Hill in the snow

You honestly need Olympic level strength to muster up the energy to hike up Cardiac Hill, we commend all the brave soldiers who do it daily. This would be a great sport to add to the Olympics because it shows what the games show best — superhuman abilities.

  • The Bigelow Boulevard dash

Cars and bikes flying at you in all different directions, traffic lights changing quickly, buses turning at every corner. Crossing Bigelow is a feat few can do but one that many would watch, making it the perfect adrenaline-pumping game to add to the Olympics.

  • The sinkhole ski jump

As we all know, Pittsburgh has a fair amount of sinkholes so why don’t we just use them to our advantage? Having professional skiers jump over massive holes in the ground would be a sight to see and would be a great new addition to the games.

  • The stair climb

With shaky and slow elevators in many of Pitt’s buildings including Cathy, Panther Hall and the William Pitt Union, climbing up the stairs in winter jackets gets the blood flowing and the sweat dripping. Watching students weave around each other in order to make it to class on time is a bloodbath and makes for an interesting viewing experience.

  • The parking spot pursuit

There is nothing harder than trying to find a legal spot to park on campus. Therefore, finding a spot is a superhuman feat, perfect for the Olympic games. Maybe adding an element of bumper cars will add to the intrigue of this new sport.

  • The Cathy maze

There is nothing more confusing than trying to find your classroom in Cathy. Competitors in this game will be given a room number in Cathy and have to run up the stairs and find the room as fast as possible — we doubt very many will be able to.

  • Dodging people on the sidewalk

There’s nothing worse than being stuck behind slow first-years or a group touring Pitt when you’re running late. Bobbing and weaving around these slow moving masses is a highly specialized skill perfectly suited for the Olympics.

  • Simply making it through the day

Not all of us are star athletes so honestly making it through the day in college should be enough to qualify for the Olympics.