Music is something that a lot of people can relate to. People can resonate with the lyrics the artist crafts all the way down to the beat of the track. I listen to a lot of genres of music, and when I mean a lot, I’m not exaggerating. Yet, one genre I can never get tired of is R&B. Whether it is older versions of R&B from the 90’s I grew up listening to, or present day R&B, all of the songs have one common theme — love. 

Dating can often be seen as a confusing realm. As someone who has never dated, how I perceive dating is in five stages — crush, talking stage, situationship, relationship and then the dreadful fear of the break-up. SZA’s new album, SOS, released in December 2022, is an album that is a musical representation of the stages of love. I think the album is a 10/10. There are a few songs that hit me harder than other songs on the album. Yet, these songs are the ones I feel best represent the emotions one might feel in each stage of their love life. I have never dated before nor been in a relationship where the thought of being in one is scary. Yet, this album makes me feel as though I can navigate through what a new relationship should be like — starting with the crush stage.

Crush: “Notice Me”

As cliche as the title might be, “Notice Me” fits the first stage when it comes to love. Before someone can be in a relationship, it usually starts with one person developing a crush on another person. In one line, SZA says, “I still wonder if you still notice me?” When having a crush on someone, the person stays on one’s mind, especially if the person likes the other person a lot. I know from personal experience that when I have a crush, I fall into the hopeless romantic category, wondering if the person, like SZA, notices me too.

Talking stage: “Love Language” 

In today’s generation, we have so many terms that people use to define their relationship status —  for example, the talking stage. A “talking stage” is when someone starts to get to know someone else through casual dating or texting each other. “Love Language” might be another cliche title, but fits the best when it comes to the talking stage. “Show me, yeah, how to connect to you/ help me understand, how you speak, your love language” is a constant line that is repeated throughout the song within its chorus. A lot of people can resonate with SZA’s words when feeling out the person they’re talking to and wondering if they could be the one or not. 

Situationship: “Too Late”

This stage of the relationship, a situationship, is more complicated than it seems. According to psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert, a situationship is “that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship.” “Too Late” is the perfect song to represent what someone might feel while in a situationship. “Is it bad that I want more?” she repeats throughout the chorus. “We are both scared of love” is the line that really shows the doubt during the beginning stages of a newly established relationship.

Relationship: “Snooze” 

“Snooze” is a song that is more well known off the album, but I understand why. SZA conveys a message that can be interpreted about her significant other who is the most important person in her world. The chorus of the song, she repeats “I can’t lose when I’m with you/ how can I snooze and miss the moment?/ You just too important, nobody do body like you”. I feel this represents the relationship stage as one’s significant other is so important to them that the person becomes their everything. 

Not every situationship makes it to the relationship stage and not relationship starts as a situationship, but ultimately the goal is to put one’s all into someone else.

Break-Up: “I Hate U” and “Far”

To me, one song was not enough to explain this last stage in relationships. Breaking up with someone you have spent time with — whether it be a few weeks, months or even years — is not an easy process. Yet, SZA sings about this process with two songs on the album, “I Hate U” and “Far.” These songs depict feelings after an ex did her wrong with lines like “Shitty of you to make me feel just like this” in “I Hate U” and “I’m done being used, done playing stupid, done faking cool” in “Far.” These songs convey the anger that a person feels after realizing that their ex was not good for them and is better off without them. 

SOS is an album that can be broken down by its meaning and messages when it comes to love. A lot of genres and albums have the ability to make someone analyze its depth and comparison to love, yet SZA masters this perfectly. She does such an articulate job letting people, like myself, who have never experienced a relationship before now feel like they can navigate through today’s complicated dating realm.

Ashanti McLaurin primarily writes about Black culture, human injustices and gives life advice. Write to her at [email protected].