Layton: The springtime pop culture round-up

By Kieran Layton

It’s been quite a while, faithful readers, since I have done a round-up of everything… It’s been quite a while, faithful readers, since I have done a round-up of everything pop culture. Whereas last time I had handy Halloween-themed labels to aid me in distinguishing between what I love, what I loathe and what I’m lukewarm about, this time of year makes things a bit more challenging. But worry not: I have Easter to help my creative process.

Introducing Kieran’s Easter-themed Guide to Pop Culture. First, you have your chocolate bunny, or what I am currently loving at the moment. Then, you have your flat-out rotten Easter eggs, which is what I (and hopefully everyone) is hating on. Finally, there are the stale Peeps — items that I am unsure about, because even though the item might be “stale,” it’s still a Peep, thus deserving some serious recognition.

American Idol

Chocolate Bunny: Siobhan Magnus — The quirky and cute frontrunner in the competition has been a favorite of mine since the audition episodes, and her recent renditions of “Paint it Black” and “House of the Rising Sun” were awesome. Last Tuesday’s off-pitch performance was a mess, but Magnus is still my favorite Idol contender.

Rotten Easter Egg: Tim Urban — Seriously, Zac Efron wannabe, go home. You have no vocal talent at all, let alone something that sets you apart from the rest of the competition. You should “Apologize” for Tuesday night’s performance, because it was horrendous. Take your wavy hair and army of preteen girl-voters and go audition for “High School Musical” — it’s where you belong.

Stale Peep: Crystal Bowersox — She is being touted as the frontrunner to win the competition, but I’m not sold. Yes, I love her voice, and she is certainly unique. But call me crazy, I am not a big fan of uniqueness when it involves dreadlocks. Some people can pull it off, she can’t. An American Idol should look like, well, a superstar, not someone you just want to hand a bottle of shampoo.

Summer Movies

Chocolate Bunny: “Iron Man 2” — I might get shunned for saying this, but I enjoyed the first film just as much as I enjoyed “The Dark Knight,” and I have been eagerly anticipating this sequel. If the trailers are any indication, Robert Downey, Jr. will be just expectedly awesome, and with Mickey Rourke as the villain Whiplash, how can this not be awesome?

Rotten Easter Egg: “Robin Hood” — I can’t remember the last time Russell Crowe had a hit movie, and this looks like a mess of clunky dialogue and whiplash-inducing editing. I’m not sure why Ridley Scott thought a Robin Hood update was necessary — or even welcome  — but I will be avoiding this one like the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Stale Peep: “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” — I’m not afraid to say it, I have both seen and — gasp — moderately enjoyed the “Twilight” films. With “New Moon” vastly improving over the first film, I have high hopes that the third entry will continue that trend. I understand, however, that too much Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart could be a very, very bad thing.

Social Networking Media

Chocolate Bunny: Twitter — Whereas a year ago I was wary of how Twitter was rapidly growing in popularity, I think the growth has leveled off somewhat, and I couldn’t be happier with the friends it has settled upon. @SexualTikTakToe and @HeyLaurHey are some great Pitt student tweeters, and celebrities like @Sn00ki (Snooki from “Jersey Shore”) have consistently amusing thoughts — usually about tanning.

Rotten Easter Egg: Facebook — Now that I am nearing graduation and actual employment opportunities, I have come to see Facebook as a graveyard of previous indiscretions that might prevent me from getting a job. Of course I’m exaggerating, but the site still makes me feel more like a stalker everytime I check my news feed. Or is it a mini-feed now? And Farmville … enough said.

Stale Peep: Foursquare — Sure, it hasn’t hit Pittsburgh the same way it has taken over the New York City networking college-aged youth (my friends at NYU are frighteningly obsessed with it), but I am intrigued. On one hand, it’s a simple and fun morsel of self-indulgence and self-satisfaction — you earn badges and recognition simply by tapping your phone! On the other hand, what the hell is the point? The jury’s still out.

TV

Chocolate Bunny: “Modern Family” — “30 Rock” is getting less funny by the episode and “The Office” has run out of things to do, so the stage is set for the new funniest show on television. With every episode containing line after line of snappy dialogue, combined with LOL-worthy physical comedy bits, this will be the show that I weep for come summer.

Rotten Easter Egg: “Dancing With the Stars” — Granted, I have never been a fan of the show, but anything that involves Kate Gosselin (and her rumored diva behavior) is an instant no-no. And although I love me some glitz and glamour, watching Buzz Aldrin twirl around the stage seems like a crime against aeronautical history.

Stale Peep: “Lost” — This season has been more than underwhelming. Stop your b*tching, Lostphiles, it’s true. Minus last week’s Richard-centric episode, character development has been minimal and practically no questions have been answered, although countless more have been raised. With six episodes left in the iconic series, however, I have faith that the writers are going to do something magical.

Songs of the Moment

Chocolate Bunny: “Not Myself Tonight,” Christina Aguilera — Sure, it sounds like the musical lovechild between Britney Spears and Lady Gaga, and while it took a few listens to grow on me, I can officially declare my love for it. It’s fast, catchy and incredibly danceable. I hope to hear it more and more as her album release date approaches.

Rotten Easter Egg: “Hey Soul Sister,” Train — This track is so superficially cheerful that it makes me want to commit violent acts against innocent bystanders. Everytime I hear that awful chorus on the radio — or worse, from someone humming it off-key — I feel the urge to kick Train’s a** back to the early years of the new millennium, where they belong.

Stale Peep: Anything by Ke$ha — She was a fun, skank rock novelty at first, and though “Blah Blah Blah” and other songs are still a lot of fun to hear at the bars and at pre-game parties, I think I’m starting to feel like Ke$ha must feel after a night out. No, not like P. Diddy — like I need to stick my ears in a shower.