Hey friends,
I really debated this week on what I wanted to discuss with you all. Over the past week and now this upcoming weekend, sorority recruitment has completely consumed my free time. Don’t get me wrong — I love being part of a sorority, and I’ve met some of my best friends there. However, if you ask pretty much any sorority member how they feel after recruitment, their answer will almost always be “tired.”
Yet, this process of spending so much time around other girls who share similar values, ideas and interests has led me to my latest concept — the importance of finding community.
For centuries, humans have strived to fulfill the basic need of companionship. Whether this is romantic, platonic, professional or even just mutually beneficial, finding someone who you can relate to is key to feeling like you belong. We humans strive to make connections with each other, which when you think about it, is pretty easy to do. There are so many opportunities to relate to your peers whether it’s academic, professional, extracurricular or anything in between.
If you’ve ever taken an intro-level psych class, you’ve probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, created a pyramid-shaped chart, ordering the most important or vital needs of a human at the base of the pyramid. As you work your way up the pyramid, the necessity of each need lessens. So, needs such as food, shelter, water and safety are at the bottom. Once you are secure with those needs, the next one is the psychological need for belongingness, or love and friendship. Maslow’s top need is achieving self-fulfillment. This is the least important and achievable as it encompasses achieving your full potential including creative activities. In order to get to this level of fulfillment, one must address the larger needs at the bottom of the pyramid first.
Maslow listed that the secondary need to belong in society is pretty vital, only next to the physical survival needs. I’ve found this to be particularly important in college. When I first came to Pitt, I was worried that I wouldn’t find a group of friends to connect to — a common fear for incoming first-year students. And why would you not feel this way? For the first time in your life, you’re going to a new school, with new people, in a new location, all while starting different courses and everything suddenly becomes optional.
Unlike high school, college education is voluntary. Whether or not you attend class is most often left for the student to decide themself. Yes, you are paying to be here, but this is true beyond education. You no longer have to attend club meetings, outside activities, go to the gym or even see your friends. There’s no incentive to get into a good college hanging over your head and pushing you to join new clubs and sports. You’re already there. While freeing, this is also extremely limiting and confining.
I was fortunate enough to navigate my first year with the main goal of community. One of the biggest pieces of advice I could possibly give is to explore every opportunity. Even though sometimes it’s -4 degrees outside, or you’re tired from class, or your head kind of hurts, there will always be a million reasons not to do something. So, if you find yourself lacking community or support from others, pursue every opportunity.
Some of the most helpful places I’ve found community was in the Pitt Involvement Fairs every fall semester. Although it sounds cliche, collect as many flyers and forms that you are interested in. I’m a sophomore and still find myself signing up for new activities. You don’t have to know everything in your first year of college. One of my friends joined the Pitt Ballet Club with zero experience as a second-semester senior. If something interests you, pursue it. And worst comes to worst, if you end up hating something you can just drop it. That double-edged sword of optionality comes back in a positive way here. You always have the ability to change your mind. There’s no shame in ending your pursuit of something if you’ve lost interest.
Touching back on sorority recruitment, I couldn’t recommend it enough. There are so many sororities here on campus that you’ll be able to find the perfect one for you. Each is slightly different, but no matter where you end up, chances are you’ll find your people. I’ve had friends who started the recruitment process but decided they weren’t going to fully go through with it. These friends actually ended up finding some of their closest friendships during the recruitment process, not the end goal of within a sorority.
Study groups are another excellent way to meet people. Finding community in academics alone can not only be beneficial for your education but for your personal life as well. Some of my closest college friends have been from group projects and class presentations.
This goes for your job now and in the future as well. It’s important to find people you can relate to in different aspects of your life. Finding people who either plan on going into a similar career or people you already work with can greatly benefit you and your career goals. An excellent way to start this is by joining a club specific to your major or taking note of people you seem drawn to in your major-specific classes. This one is easier to accomplish in general because you already have something huge in common. There’s also a higher chance you’ll enjoy their company and conversation since you share similar passions and career interests.
Sometimes you meet people in unlikely places. I met my childhood best friends in a children’s daycare, dance class and sports practices. Sometimes you meet people through mutuals — you might not be best friends with someone, but they could introduce you to someone you relate to significantly more.
No matter your path in college and beyond, community opportunities are everywhere. You’d be surprised how like-minded some of us are if you just start up a conversation.
Until next edition, stay warm, friends! Remember to try to be more open these next few weeks. You never know what’s around the corner.