I am a big romantic. I love the little romantic gestures of good morning/night texts, the idea of holding a boombox over your head and candlelight dinners of vodka pasta. Something about being loved and giving my love truly brings so much joy to me, so you would think  … but you’d be wrong. 

Now, I am so looking forward to a nice dinner with my boyfriend and giving him the little knickknacks I picked out to remind him I listen, but I will say there is an immense amount of pressure to make V-Day the optimal expression of love. Even though Valentine’s Day is celebrated nationally, it is not personal like a birthday or an anniversary, so I wonder — why is it such a big deal?

Is it a Hallmark holiday to scam those who have not bought their significant other flowers since the housing crash of ‘08 or a way for Hollywood to capitalize off of sappy romantics? I ask the question — do we really need a designated day, filled with $25 bouquets of roses and a packed restaurant where you have to reserve a table weeks in advance, to celebrate love?

Valentine’s Day should be a reminder to celebrate and appreciate the ones you care about and love deeply no matter how you celebrate, whether it be with friends, a significant other or by yourself with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. While this day may be overrun by Hallmark, who doesn’t love cheap chocolates or a new Squishmallow? Personally, those are two of my favorite things. 

I still am unsure whether I love or detest Valentine’s Day as this will only be my second with a boyfriend, but I know for certain I do not want to die on a hill where there is no love. I spent 18 V-Days single, but even before it was a romantic holiday, I remember it as a time with friends, handing out silly Valentines I picked out the night before in Walmart. The only thing I cared about was if my box was the most extravagant one in my third-grade classroom.

Now, more than ever, as I actively experience the greatest love possible, I do appreciate what this holiday means at its core — love. Ignore the cards with puns that will make you laugh at any age or the pressure to create a perfect V-Day basket for your loved one with inspiration from TikTok. Focus solely on how you love.

My Valentine’s Day this year consists of a simple home-cooked meal — hopefully surf ‘n turf — while wearing my new heart-printed pajamas. We put so much pressure on the fancy dinners, cards and roses for this holiday, that the idea of Cupid, Saint Valentine and love have all been pushed into the shadows.

So please purchase the cheesy Hallmark cards — not sponsored — though do not just sign your name — write a love letter on the blank side. I beg of you to save and dry out the roses your man still remembers to grab at the grocery store so you can look at them for years to come. Lastly, please text and call all those you love and who love you — your mom, dad, grandparents, friends and significant other — since the card aisle shows us that this holiday is about more than just romantic love. It’s about love for all.