CM-boo hoo

On Monday, Carnegie Mellon University introduced a new degree to their program — computer lie-nce. CMU’s email system notified about 800 hopefuls that they had been accepted to the school’s master’s of computer science program, but it turned out to be a false positive. When Reuters asked whether the school’s prestigious computer science department had ironically been involved in the design of its email system for notifying applicants, a school spokesman declined to comment. The follow-up apology email reminded students that acceptance is not only the first step in college, but also the first step in grieving.

Moms with bombs

Earlier this month, one New Yorker took “Tiger Mom” to new heights when she blew up on her daughter’s high school guidance counselor. After learning that her child had bombed a standardized test, Karen Shearon called guidance counselor Susan Wagner and told her she was “going to blow up the school.” The failed test was quite the shock to Shearon since her daughter’s grades were always dynamite. Shearon is now facing charges for aggravated harassment. It seems her explosion of anger really came back to burn her.

Fifty shades of grade school

Last week, a teacher from Monessen, Pa., gave her students an assignment that was 50 shades of inappropriate. The teacher accidentally whipped up a “Fifty Shades of Grey”-themed crossword puzzle for her pupils. The puzzle had dirty words hidden in it such as “spanking,” “submissive,” “leather cuffs” and “bondage.” Although this puzzle was a mistake, Superintendent Leanne Spazak’s hands were tied — the situation called for punishment. This teacher really put herself in a bind. 

Baby, talk dirty to me

My Friend Cayla, an Internet-connected doll that can talk, took us to vulgarity and beyond this month. Security researcher Ken Munro told The Mirror that friends in plastic aren’t always so fantastic. The doll draws her vocabulary from the Internet and is supposed to be able to block out dirty words. Munro’s show and Ma-tell proved Cayla had a potty mouth, though. He got Cayla to quote Hannibal Lecter and “Fifty Shades of Grey.” When asked for comment, Cayla said “WTF.”

Ice ice baby

The ’90s music scene called — they want Vanilla Ice back (in the headlines, at least). Vanilla Ice got into some hot water this week when he was arrested in Florida for suspicion of burglary. Since his music career went cold, he has resorted to stealing bikes and furniture. When asked for comment, Vanilla Ice said he was looking for some legal advice-vice, baby.