The meowing dead

A few weeks ago, one cat from Tampa, Fla., proved that it was truly bad to the bone. Owner Ellis Hutson discovered the ultimate cat-astrophe — his beloved cat, Bart, stiff and cold after being hit by a car, resting on the road in a pool of blood. Hutson buried the cat, assuming it was one cat scratch that couldn’t be fixed. Nine lives and five days later, Bart clawed out of its pet semetery and scampered over to Hutson’s neighbor’s house. While a bit disheveled and facing the prospect of losing an eye, Bart is feline a little better and is expected to make a full recovery.

From boat to throat

Spongebob, normally residing in a pineapple under the sea, took a vacation to the warm depths of a child’s trachea this week. A 16-month-old Saudi Arabian child swallowed his sister’s Spongebob pendant and made a visit to the hospital. Ghofran Ageely, his doctor, was “not ready” for what he saw in the X-rays. Spongebob, in full detail with his tongue sticking out, was captured in the black and white image. The child will stick to a strict diet of Krabby Patties from now on.

How to eat fried worms

Last Sunday, a British woman saved her daughter from a slimy surprise. The culprit: a chicken McNugget — complete with one pink worm. Nikki Sanders bought the McMaggot Unhappy Meal for her 4-year-old daughter, but ended up eating it herself when the child wasn’t hungry. A bit of an optimist, Sanders was glad to have gotten some extra protein.

Head, shoulders, knees and coke

On Monday afternoon, a drug suspect from Delaware thought he was a leg ahead of the competition. But 39-year-old Marlow Holmes was arrested during a police stop when the K-9 unit sniffed out a bone that seemed out of place. The kicker — Holmes was concealing over 28 grams of cocaine in his prosthetic leg. Although he didn’t have any joints, he was still arrested, and bail was set at $81,000.

Barbecue bandit

On Wednesday, a burglar took the ultimate brisk-et and stole over $4,000 worth of ribs, chicken, wings and fries from Jerome Brown Barbecue in Jacksonville, Fla. Although it seems he’s quite a pig, investigators believe the haul was for a Super Bowl party this weekend. The suspect seemed to be winging it, though, since he was caught on surveillance. Authorities are still looking for the beef thief. Hopefully his cooking will smoke any competition.