The Peru Saga, Part II: Four tales of one city

By LEWIS LEHE

When you’re living in Oakland amid India Garden, Sushi Boat, Leena’s, Ali Baba’s, Schezuan,… When you’re living in Oakland amid India Garden, Sushi Boat, Leena’s, Ali Baba’s, Schezuan, Joe Mama’s, La Fiesta and the Thai and Pakistani food carts, it can be hard to stare out the window of the Finnish Nationality Room after a hard night of partying with the Ukrainian Students Association and realize somewhere out there is another culture. But now that I’m studying abroad in Arequipa, Peru, I see that there is, in fact, at least one other culture. It even has its own folklore. Here are some of the folk tales I have encountered thus far during my time in Peru:

“The Fountain of Youth”

At first, the Juarez family seemed normal enough, waiving happily from across the street when I walked home. But there was something not right about them, I felt. Then yesterday, I asked Pablito Juarez his age, and when he replied “7 years old,” I wished him a happy birthday. He said that it wasn’t his birthday. I asked him how he could be exactly 7 years old if it wasn’t his birthday. Pablito grew confused and ran inside. Then it hit me: These people are no older than the day I arrived – almost two weeks ago.

I searched their backyard and discovered the Fountain of Youth. After disconnecting the garden hose, I drank deeply from the Fountain’s waters, and this morning I awoke to find myself virtually unaged since yesterday.

“The Legendary Machu Machu”

Although less famous than Machu Pichu, Machu Machu is more ancient and grandiose. It is a gigantic rock, crafted by hand into the shape of a mountain and lying deep within the Andes. The verisimilitude of Machu Machu is so effective that it is difficult to distinguish the sculpture from surrounding mountains.

Carbon dating indicates that work may have begun on Machu Machu 75 million years ago, opening the possibility of dinosaur civilizations. But you won’t find this in any guide book, my friends. I learned it all from a local cab driver who charged me just $50 to drive out to Machu Machu, because only a seasoned adventurer can find the same Machu Machu two times in a row.

“The Doppelganger of the Sun”

On your morning bus commute, you always see the same guy who looks just like you – if you were of Incan descent. One day, his girlfriend even sits next to you on the bus before realizing her mistake and moving to sit next to him. This is disappointing, because she is attractive. After several run-ins, you think of saying something funny about it, but worry he won’t agree that he looks like an Incan version of you. One day, you see him in the park, and the awkwardness is just too much, so you cut his head off to gain immortality