Oral sex is one of the most fun things about sex. As a recurring theme in questions asked this… Oral sex is one of the most fun things about sex. As a recurring theme in questions asked this week, I drafted a guide to it. For the men who don’t receive enough and for the women who receive too much of the wrong stuff, this guide will give some pointers to add to your repertoire; the women will have to wait their turn until next week.

OK, we know that they like, no, love it. We know this … but do we really? Are you truly giving your partner that everlasting experience that makes his knees buckle the day after with the mere thought of it? Or has it become the don’t-ask-don’t-tell aspect of your sex life?

So here’s the scoop: For obvious reasons, oral sex can be a sensitive subject for a lot of men. Like the act, you have to approach the subject carefully. First, we will discuss the inhibitors that sometimes interfere with the act. Next, we will discuss two basic strategies to it. Last, we will go through the motions, step-by-step, covering as much ground as possible to address the sometimes avoided, commonly practiced, subject.

Let’s first tackle the issues that we might have a mental block against. Sexpert Tracey Cox says that there are three inhibitors that have some simple solutions: the smell, the gag reflex and the issue of swallowing.

1. It smells. Don’t be afraid to have a steamy, soapy, shower session to tackle the problem.

2. I gag. Simply change positions for more control. This will avoid neck cramping and will maximize your potential in satisfying your partner.

3. To swallow or not to swallow? Since this was recently covered, I will refer you to last week’s column for my thoughts or to Cox’s “Pocket Supersex.”

Now that we have alleviated these issues, let’s talk about the mechanics of oral sex. According to “Sex: A User’s Guide,” there are two main methods to fellatio: the shallow approach, accompanied by licking, and the “deep throat.”

In the former, the penis serves as a sort of lollipop. The latter is slightly more complex because of the gag reflex and the fact that the throat bends almost 90 degrees behind the tongue. You can get around this with a position that makes this act a simpler task.

Now, here’s some specific information to assist you in the act. To begin, make sure that your mouth is wet. Cox advises that, if you must, keep a cup of water close by. Also, throughout your experience, you may use a lubricant to assist you. But like cars, lubricant must be tested out first, for taste as well as effectiveness.

The next thing that you want to do is get in a position that is the most comfortable for you and what you are trying to accomplish. Why? According to a survey given by Cosmopolitan, which asked 15,000 men what women should keep in mind while performing oral sex, 45 percent of men want their partners to vary between licking and sucking. So it would behoove you to give them the best of both worlds.

After you have situated yourself, this would be the time to put on the condom. Believe it or not, you can still catch sexually transmitted diseases from oral sex. In addition, several STDs such as herpes and HPV, also known as genital warts, are asymptomatic. Or, simply stated, they are not necessarily visible to the naked eye. Also, these particular STDs have been growing exponentionally on college campuses, infecting men and giving cancer to women.

So use a condom. To avoid the taste of latex, try using flavored mint condoms. Also, if you’ve got skills, raise the stakes by putting on the condom with your mouth; it’s sexy but not required.

Next, always cover your teeth for smooth sailing. Then focus your attention on pleasing these three important areas: the sensitive underside, the nerve-ending-loaded head and the testicles.

The next thing you want to do is manually stimulate while you orally stimulate. Women are not the only ones who like a little multitasking; men like it too. In the survey cited above, 32 percent of men want their partners to keep in mind that oral sex is also a hands-on experience.

This is where the lubricant comes in and where those who are deep-throat deficient can compensate.

A few last points to add to the experience are: Make eye contact. Accessorize with toys. Watch for body language cues. Enjoy yourself.

People who are sexually in tune with their own needs, as well as their partner’s, enjoy giving as well as receiving oral sex.

And even with oral, always, always, always have safe sex. E-mail Rose at [email protected].