Every now and again, I read some of the Bible, even though it always gets me into trouble.

I… Every now and again, I read some of the Bible, even though it always gets me into trouble.

I recommend this to everyone, actually — especially non-believers. You will be amazed at the way half-remembered stories out of half-repressed Sunday school sessions take on a new life with your present knowledge and experience.

In any case, I was perusing Genesis last Saturday — and I’ll thank you not to speculate on the fact that that’s what I did for fun on a Saturday — when I came across the story of the Tower of Babel.

For people not of Judeo-Christian tradition, and for those who skipped out that Sunday — and probably tried cigarettes in the alley with the bad kids but told their mom they were at church, shame on you — the story goes like this:

“At one time the whole world spoke a single language and used the same words. And the people said … ‘Let’s build a great city with a tower that reaches to the skies — a monument to our greatness.'”

But the Lord said, “Look, if they can accomplish this when they have just begun to take advantage of their common language and political unity, just think of what they will do later. Nothing will be impossible for them. Come, let’s [funny, in the beginning of the Bible God’s always calling himself “us”] go down and give them different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other” (Gensis:11:1-7, New Living Translation).

On the surface, maybe this is nothing more than a simple myth to explain where languages came about. I don’t feel that I’m belittling it by saying that, because that’s how all of the people I know who actually believe in it interpret it.

But what’s really happening here?

It seems to me that God(s?) is making a strong, definite statement against cultural homogeneity. This “New Living Translation” I’m using is not the best ever, and I’m hardly a theologian. And yet, God destroys universal political unity; God destroys a universal language.

Think of this story, and then think about economic globalization and its concomitant institutions like the International Monetary Fund and the World Trade Organization. Think about the United Nations, the World Court and other forms of global government. Think about U.S. military hegemony and about the universality of the English language.

It seems to me that Biblical literalists might have to rethink their positions on some of these issues.

(One also wonders: Can the God in this story be the same being who, only a few books later, will command the genocide of the Midianites, the people of Heshbon and the people of Bashan?)

God also seems to be making a pretty definite statement against civilization and advanced technology. “They’re building a city, with towers so tall they reach the sky. Soon nothing will be beyond their reach. We (!) must not allow this.”

I’ve always thought it was kind of funny that people who call themselves socially conservative readily accept almost any new technology that comes along, even though new technologies often have incredibly far-reaching repercussions for society as a whole. What are same-sex marriage and legalized abortion compared to the social effects of cars, radios, telephones, television and the Internet? Answer: next to nothing.

Maybe a return to Genesis — in the classroom, perhaps? — will force them to rethink these positions.

But like I said, I’m no theologian. Still, even for a layperson, reading the Bible can be fun. Bible-thumpers should try it some time.

E-mail Steve Thomas your biblical thoughts at [email protected].