This album stinks so bad, you’ll be looking for Room to Breathe

By ADAM RAUF

Room to Breath

Adelayda

Superkala Records

Recommended…

Room to Breath

Adelayda

Superkala Records

Recommended if you like: a really bad matchbox 20 sound

Shoot me, please.

Room to Breathe is as bad as it gets. I’ve heard some bad records in my time, but this one could quite possibly take the cake. This band tries so hard to be liked. But it ends up sounding like an amalgam of the worst bands out there in the “hard rock” market.

The vocals are great – if you like terrible music. Not only is this a vomit-inducing, overproduced record, but the lyrics are absolutely third grade in content. I’m not sure if the band members decided halfway through the recording process to be emo or what, but they really need to re-evaluate their lives. Lyrics from “Dawn” include this gem: “I’ve been livin’/I’ll go on/and everyday has its dawn.” Yes, this is as good as the lyrics will get for the entire freaking album.

These guys seem like they’ve suffered some major angst, like not being able to find their hairspray in the morning. Not only does their promotional photo make them look like a bland frat-guy band, but the cover photo is of a girl holding her hands over her head. I’m sure she’s completely stressed out that her boyfriend is ditching his date with her that night because he has to – gasp – study. Yep, that’s true pain, people.

The more I listen to the CD, the more I realize I want to saw off my own arm. They do every cliche in the book, including acoustic soft-rock tracks that have synthetic strings on them. Yes sir, this band is truly going somewhere. And I wouldn’t be surprised if people like this pile of fecal matter, ecause I’m sure it’ll be all over whatever passes for “Dawson’s Creek” these days.

I know I’ve made fun of bands before – like Dashboard Confessional and Saves the Day – but this is really even more abhorrent. This is what happens when rockers realize that they aren’t getting enough action from their current sound, so they opt to turn “emo,” but only halfway. After all, emo people get made fun of, so they have to seem like angry rockers that have emotion. Oh, man, I could go on for days about how bad this record is.

If you like boring rock by bands that try to be emotional, knock yourself out – Room to Breathe is for you. But I would also remind you to throw out your elementary school journal and realize that there are millions of bands that sound better than this. The only reason they even deserve the half star is for their bass player, who seems to be the only one who has any talent.