Language barriers
A teller at a San Antonio Wells Fargo just discovered the benefits of sleeping through a Spanish class. Last week, the teller’s limited Spanish ended up preventing a bank robbery. The teller misread the robber’s note stating “Dame dinero” as “Damien,” and began looking up the account. When the teller asked the robber to confirm the name, the wannabe thief took the slip and left the bank. While the teller’s confusion ended up saving the bank some money, her feat wasn’t entirely heroic. The robber asked for a teller who spoke Spanish — and was directed to one that had, apparently, lied on their resume. The sloppy situation proves that quitters never win — yet poor students sometimes can.
Lesson not learned
A man in Vermont was driving 112 mph on the interstate when police pulled him over for speeding — on his way to pay for a speeding ticket. The 33-year-old man was going almost double the speed limit, and ended up getting in double trouble. The driver is the inspiration for the next “Fast and Furious” sequel — “Too Fast, Too Furious, Two Fines.”
Wayward Chick
Last week, a chicken didn’t quite make it across the San Francisco Bay Bridge. Former Oakland — San Francisco’s Oakland, not ours — mayoral candidate Ken Houston was helping his two chickens cross the bay when they got loose, leading the California Highway Patrol on a not-quite-goose chase. Before his egg-citing trip, the chicken was headed to a nearby school garden — which he apparently considered a fowl idea. This scrambled series of events turned him into quite a star — several individuals claimed ownership of the chicken before police verified Houston’s rightful possession. We hope the fame doesn’t end up making him cock-y. The other chicken was a little down on its cluck — and remains missing.
Televised thievery
Thomas Hinton is on his way to being the next star of “Cops.” The 45-year-old man was caught breaking into a Canadian couple’s Florida vacation home as they watched the entire robbery take place over webcam. While they did not appreciate being robbed, the couple had to admit that the video was better than anything on Netflix.
Caught monkeying around
On Wednesday, a monkey on the lam outsmarted local deputies, state police, Fish & Wildlife and animal control for two days in Owingsville, Kentucky. The monkey was first spotted on Monday, and officials could not capture it until they hit it with a tranquilizer on Wednesday. Apparently the monkey went bananas once his owner let him out of his cage to clean it. This “Furious George” felt a real kinship with the wayward chick.