Explosive resignations

A disgruntled Vermont chocolate factory worker made it clear Monday night that he was no longer having a blast at work — so he called in a bomb threat. Kristofer Pregent, aka Willy Wonka’s unhappiest Oompa Loompa, stole a co-worker’s cell phone to call in the false threat and afterwards threw it in a toilet. The act blew up in his face, and he was charged with false public alarm, petit larceny and unlawful mischief. We wonder if he had any ties to Pitt’s 2012 string of bomb threats.

A game of hide-and-seek

This past Tuesday, a reporter discovered a pair of missing boys skipping out on school. Officials first marked the brothers missing when they didn’t get on the school bus heading for their charter school. A newspaper reporter covering the disappearance found his big scoop when he discovered the boys hiding under a blueberry bush. It didn’t turn out to be a berry good hiding spot. The reporter is currently working on a story about what the boys were doing down there with the weeds.

Selfish selfies

PETA is going bananas over a monkey’s selfie. British nature photographer David Slater trained a macaque monkey to take selfies during a 2011 trip to Sulawesi and has landed himself in a hairy situation as a result. PETA has filed a lawsuit seeking a court order that would make the monkey the copyright owner of the photos, throwing a monkey wrench into his plans of fame. More appalling than the question of copyright, however, is the fact that the monkey kept the first selfie. Guess it was a money monkey shot.

Un-supported case

A Maine officer apologized Thursday to a pair of female lawyers for getting “hot under the collar” about their undergarments. Cumberland County Sheriff Kevin Joyce told the women that they would need to remove their underwire bras to pass through the metal detector into the jail. The women stood firm and refused to remove their bras. In the future, the jail plans to get more handsy — and use metal detecting wands, but the sheriff might still have to serve some time for that sexist line.

The evil half

Don’t you just hate it when you get arrested for a crime your evil twin commits? Last month, Steven Felton was convicted of robbing 10 gas stations, convenience and beer stores in eastern Pennsylvania. During his trial, Felton declared his innocence, claiming in true “Hannah Montana” fashion that his “evil twin” brother had carried out the robberies. The evil twin could not be reached for comment. Felton has been served with at least 60 years in prison — and we think it’s only fair for the twins to split the time.