satire Archives - Page 6 of 9

Satire | Top 10 resolutions you can actually keep

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • January 5, 2020

I know that things look bleak, but I come bearing solutions, i.e. 10 small and easy resolutions that are exactly what you need to have the best year ever.

Satire | An afternoon on the 10A

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • December 5, 2019

No one is safe from my watchful eye and quick writing now, even if I didn’t find many students sufficiently wildin’.

Satire | A day in the life of Ricardo, my South Oakland House Mouse

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • November 13, 2019

Ricardo the South Oakland House Mouse begins his day as all South Oakland mice do.

Satire | November Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • November 8, 2019

The stars have excitement in store for everyone this November.

Editorial: Top 10 roads Pitt should close along with Bigelow

By The Pitt News Editorial Board • November 8, 2019

While we’re coming to terms road closure, we thought of 10 streets Pitt should close in addition to Bigelow Boulevard.

Satire: Completely reasonable expectations for Pitt basketball

By Trent Leonard, Sports Editor • November 6, 2019

Xavier Johnson averaging a triple double? Trey McGowens making the leap to one of the nation’s top scorers? Pitt making a run at the ACC Championship? All very logical possibilities, writes sports editor Trent Leonard.

Satire | Top 10 considerations for an Uber Copter future

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • October 31, 2019

The future is upon us, my friends. Uber announced in July the beginnings of helicopter services in New York City to and from JFK Airport for $200, with plans to expand and make aerial ridesharing available...

Satire | An Early Morning in Pittsburgh International Airport

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • October 24, 2019

TSA screening is the best place to observe human interaction.

Satire | A Night in the Starbucks Zone

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • September 25, 2019

What has Starbucks been hiding from us between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m., besides worn-out employees? It’s time for me to find out so you don’t have to.

Satire | How to make small talk with people from high school

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist • September 19, 2019

Use these tips and neither you nor Sarah will break a sweat trying to chit-chat while the professor searches for a working Expo marker.