‘ ‘ ‘ As far as public blowouts go, last November’s Barack Obama victory celebration was a… ‘ ‘ ‘ As far as public blowouts go, last November’s Barack Obama victory celebration was a tough act to follow. Through abraded larynxes, participants hailed the event as ‘triumphant,’ ‘generation-defining’ and ‘totally off the chain, man, Roofster climbed a freaking lamp post!’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Facebook photo albums entitled ‘Yes We Did!’ and ‘OMG HISTORY’ effectively countered cynics who predicted that the significance of the first black president’s election would be lost in the uninhibited uproar of a good, old-fashioned college riot. Although most riot critics classify the event as a ‘celebration’ atypical of the riot genre per se, it was, as they say, one of the classics. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Many of my colleagues argue that Oakland set its rioting precedent in the 2006 Steelers victory riot. For those who were still in high school at the time, this was when Oakland residents managed to invert four undoubtedly useless automobiles and garnished the storefronts of several small businesses with some much-needed ‘urban flair.’ However, this classic riot was the culmination of 25 straight Super Bowl-less seasons for Pittsburgh. Thus, Oakland was decidedly cautious, and the resulting riot was a spontaneous celebration. ‘ ‘ ‘ By contrast, in the weeks leading up to Super Bowl XLIII, many wondered how Oakland’s potential sequel would compare to its two most raucous public celebrations in recent memory. Would the uninhibited chaos of 2006 finally be topped? Or has the solidarity and optimism that Oakland unveiled on election night curbed its appetite for destruction? ‘ ‘ ‘ Sunday night’s event, unfortunately, began warily ‘mdash; as Santonio Holmes reeled in the game-winning pass with 1:10 left in the fourth quarter, would-be rioters could be heard asking whether they should put their shoes on yet or wait until the clock had fully expired. Even after the victory was official, I heard other participants asking, ‘How about now? Can we go now?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ This is obviously a clear departure from the impulsive, uninhibited joy Oakland demonstrated following Super Bowl XL and President Obama’s election. On Sunday night, everything seemed contrived from the very beginning. It was almost as if the riot had been explicitly planned through events on social networking sites. ‘ ‘ ‘ Fortunately, despite consuming heaps of pizza and buffalo wings, rioters were still left hungry for some good, wholesome pyromania and bus shelter pulverization. ‘ ‘ ‘ Although these undertakings are true to the classical riot genre, the premeditated nature of the celebration created an unnerving atmosphere of artificiality. Rioters often appeared self-conscious, wondering aloud what their next venture would be, where they should walk next, when the riot was going to end and whether particular storefronts should be vandalized like the last time the Steelers won. Such strict adherence to elements of prior successes is often an indication that the rioters have run out of original material. ‘ ‘ ‘ In fact, while I was standing just a few yards away from a quite well-executed burning Dumpster on Forbes Avenue ‘mdash; one of the critic’s foremost responsibilities is getting as close to the action as possible ‘mdash; the crowd spotted a large can of spilled gasoline, causing those near it, such as myself, to retreat in mild panic. Had the riot occurred more naturally, that can of gasoline probably wouldn’t have even been purchased, and said panic would not have occurred. On the other hand, the riot would have earned serious props from this reviewer had the spilled gasoline ignited and caused an awesome explosion. ‘ ‘ ‘ On the auditory side, sounds of choppers and sirens served as subtle undertones at times, adding a nice sense of urgency to the riot’s aural backdrop. At other times though, such noises were overbearing, all but muting the catchy refrain of ‘Here We Go Steelers!’ Other choruses were less captivating, most notably ones encouraging the exposure of certain female private parts. ‘ ‘ ‘ In rioting, as in any endeavor, success can be an insurmountable burden. Spontaneous ecstasy, which in the past spelled success for Oakland, unfortunately gave way to lofty expectations, producing a choppy, artificial experience under the guise of genuine bedlam. ‘ ‘ ‘ Going into Sunday night, I thought I had Oakland pegged down. Unfortunately, they seem to have pegged themselves down deeper than a street sign in the sidewalk, which, it turns out, takes about four guys and 10 minutes of sustained effort to un-peg. ‘ ‘ ‘ E-mail Ben, our in-house riot critic, at [email protected].