Dear Entire Pitt Campus, Because I Assume You All Read My Articles, 

It’s been a busy summer for The Pitt News opinions desk, but all that hustling and bustling must feather out as August approaches and we start our preparations for the fast-approaching school year. I can feel our Slack group chat practically burning with anticipation — both for finally seeing each other in the sun-crisped flesh again and, of course, for our editor Maggie’s show-stopping cupcakes.

I hear pencils sharpening in the distance. I hear the slight cackle of Leah — our assistant editor — over all of that incessant pencil sharpening. I hear parents mumbling cuss words as they shuffle furniture around their student’s pie slice of a dorm room on the 19th floor of Tower B. I can even hear Chancellor Patrick Gallagher breathing heavily as he waits for his raise to finally hit his bank account. Oh, what wonderful sounds of a bygone summer! Oh, how wonderful the approaching semester will be!

But before we trade our flip flops and heat waves — which remind us not to flirt with the impending doom that climate change will bring us if we continue to live beyond our deeply capitalist means — for textbooks and fun tchotchkes in Cathy’s nationality rooms, let’s share and reminisce on all the summer fun we had.

There was never a moment’s rest for Grace McGinness. When she wasn’t writing about the dearly departed PittStart or weighing in on double majors, she worked as an assistant at Pitt’s LIFE lab, performing quality control on MRI scans. And when she wasn’t doing either of those important jobs, she was doing a more important job — playing frisbee in Schenley Park. Or at least, trying to throw a frisbee in Schenley Park. Either way, she was improving her frisbee skills, which, as we all know, is crucial in today’s economy. We’re so proud of Grace for expressing her talents and working on self improvement!

Our good ole Julia Kreutzer also had a busy summer, filled with important discussions on the meaning behind Pride celebrations, how to manage mental health and gender in politics. In between churning out article after article, she found time to pose with a football for a Facebook profile shot for some reason. It is possible that the football conveys a message related to sports, or possibly, a more meta message about the meaning of sports? Or, if we go even deeper, a message about mysterious profile pictures? Nonetheless, it’s a lovely photo and everyone should check it out.

Then there’s Josh Beylinson, Pitt News’ number one source for all things related to Venezuela and TikTok. He hasn’t put out an opinion on TikTok in a while, but I’m sure that when he finds out what the kids are into now, he’ll let the rest of us luddites know. In the meantime, he’s looking forward to his trip to Moonrise Festival, the Mid-Atlantic’s premier music festival, because nothing screams premier music festival like standing in a field in Baltimore, feeling your heart fall out of your butt every time the bass drops, watching acts that all have names that sound like rejected first generation iPhone slogans. But, hey, we’re glad he’s back to having fun after the accident. And by “the accident,” I mean telling me about how he participated in Game of Thrones themed roleplay online, which I’m now telling everyone else. Big mistake, Josh. Huge.

I would be remiss if I didn’t give details of my summer as well, before blowing summer a huge raspberry as it stares at me in my rear view mirror with its cold, dead eyes. Between my corporate office work and testing the limits of SPF 50 sunblock on my sweaty yet dry lizard-skin, I found time to compare zodiac signs to residence halls, trash-talk watermelon and generally get a little weird with some horoscopes. When I wasn’t writing articles for the public (i.e. you all), I picked up an old hobby — cross stitch. This was a means to feel productive while chipping away at a massive list of TV shows my friends made me promise I’d watch instead of rewatching the four TV shows I enjoy over and over, because apparently “trying new things is good for you.” Whatever. Right now I’m a couple episodes into “Pose” and I have a fabulous stitched floral border to show for it. Hopefully I’ll finish my craft before directing my attention back to consulting the stars for next month’s horoscope.

Well, that’s all from the opinions crew, but fear not, gentle reader, there will be more from us in the coming year. Or years. Or eternity. No matter how long we’ll be in the office, firing out articles and sharing our views with the greater student body and grown adults who lurk on Facebook, we’ll always enjoy our newspaper, each other and our readers. We wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Hail To Pitt, 

The Opinions Desk