Editorial: Top 10 campus spots most likely to lead to another world, Narnia Style

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Thomas Yang | Assistant Visual Editor

Hillman’s bathrooms can get pretty gross during midterms.

By The Pitt News Editorial Board

From the high floors of Cathy to the basement of the bookstore, Pitt’s campus harbors hidden gems everywhere. But despite its beauty, there are some places we think are harboring a few secrets — teleportation secrets, maybe. These are 10 places on campus that are most likely to lead to another world. Narnia style, of course.

  1. Grass path behind Chevron

Pitt hired a herd of goats in August 2018 “to landscape a patch of overgrown land behind Chevron Science Center.” We’re starting to think they might be hiding a secret portal to goat land back there.

  1. Cathy ground floor

The only reason students go down here is to print. The classroom doors are unnecessarily heavy, it smells faintly of dish soap and you’re more likely to see the 54D arrive on time than you are to see the bathrooms in Cathy’s bottom floor stocked with paper towels.

  1. Hillman ground floor bathrooms

Walk to the restroom down here in the evening, and there’s a line. Walk to the restroom down here at 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday, and there’s still a line. Something funny is going on in those claustrophobic bathrooms without windows.

  1. The Early American Nationality Room

It’s dimly lit, rumored to be haunted and the door is open during the day. Except Pitt doesn’t run classes in there. We can only wonder why.

  1. Victory light beam from Cathy

This light shines — read, blinds — the entire campus following any big Pitt sports victory. We thought it would be cool to use the beam to project assignments via smoke signals, but after thinking harder, we’re not so sure we want to mess with its powers.

  1. The catering tunnel

When you go to pick up catered foods for events at Pitt, you have to enter a tunnel connecting the Union and Towers. It’s mysterious as is, not to mention the hallways down there leading to different places. Or maybe the same place.

  1. The elevator in Market Central

We’ve never actually seen anyone go into the elevator right by the stir-fry station. Or come out of it.

  1. Any residence hall laundry room after 2 a.m.

The garbage can is full of lint. Singular socks are strewn across the countertop. Joe from down the hall’s laundry is still on the floor. Anything is possible.

  1. The 61D during rush hour

You’re not going to find a seat. Or a comfortable place to stand. Or space to breathe somewhere other than the back of someone else’s neck. But you might find a portal to Narnia. And, everyone’s so overwhelmed, nobody would even notice a singular disappearance.

  1. Moving shelves on Hillman ground floor

Only Chancellor Gallagher knows what could be harbored in between those moving shelves — that never seem to actually move, by the way.