The Pitt News

Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

September 11, 2019

Here are some tips, directly from the stars, to help you optimize your LinkedIn experience.

Satire | Back to school horoscopes

Satire | Back to school horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

August 29, 2019

Look to the stars for some answers, because Kevin in the second-to-last row of your biology lecture sure isn’t going to provide any insight.

Satire | Residence Hall Horoscopes

Satire | Residence Hall Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

June 29, 2019

Just like you, each of Pitt’s residence halls has its own distinct character.

Opinion | June Horoscopes

Opinion | June Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

June 18, 2019

Summer is upon us. The weather becomes hot. The air becomes sticky. The Geminis finally crawl back into the wretched pits from whence we came. There is a sense of calm. Check your horoscope to see what else the stars have in store for you this Cancer season.

Opinion | Drunk horoscopes

Opinion | Drunk horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

April 10, 2019

It’s easy to have a hard time figuring out the right drink for you. Why not bring the stars to the bars? It’s time to let your sign determine your drink order.

Opinion | Serious March horoscopes

Opinion | Serious March horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

March 21, 2019

Just some rigorous and serious March horoscopes. These are arguably the most accurate March horoscopes that can be found today.

Opinion | Scientifically tested horoscopes

Opinion | Scientifically tested horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

February 22, 2019

These horoscopes have been scientifically tested - rigorously, too.

Opinion | Accurate, peer-reviewed horoscopes

Opinion | Accurate, peer-reviewed horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Staff Columnist

January 17, 2019

Do you use Apple Music? Do you enjoy it? Do you like to pop, and lock, and jam, and break? Reconsider this stance, Aquarius.

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