The Pitt News

Satire | February Horoscopes

Satire | February Horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Assistant Opinions Editor February 5, 2021
Find out what February has in store for you here:
Satire | November Horoscopes

Satire | November Horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Assistant Opinions Editor November 6, 2020
If you’re looking for something a little bit more laid back than the current state of the world, and I’m sure most of us are, look no further than your monthly horoscope.
Satire | October Horoscopes

Satire | October Horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Assistant Opinions Editor October 8, 2020
It’s October. I’m exhausted, the stars are exhausted and I’m sure you’re exhausted. Take a break from your midterms and endless Zoom calls to see what kind of advice and insight the stars have decided you need this month. 
Satire | September Horoscopes

Satire | September Horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Assistant Opinions Editor September 3, 2020
Are you curious about what’s written in the stars for you this month? Well then, you’re in luck!
Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist February 13, 2020
Mercury is in retrograde and love is hard. That’s all. That’s it. Let’s look to the stars to understand our weird human emotions on this weird human emotions day.
Satire | Internship Horoscopes

Satire | Internship Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist February 5, 2020
Feel like you’re gonna get sucked up by the resume gods if you don’t get an internship? Look to the stars for some guidance.
Satire | January Horoscopes

Satire | January Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist January 10, 2020
The new year rolled around and we’re all the same people.
Satire | November Horoscopes

Satire | November Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist November 8, 2019
The stars have excitement in store for everyone this November.
Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist September 11, 2019
Here are some tips, directly from the stars, to help you optimize your LinkedIn experience.
Satire | Back to school horoscopes

Satire | Back to school horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist August 29, 2019
Look to the stars for some answers, because Kevin in the second-to-last row of your biology lecture sure isn’t going to provide any insight.
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