Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
September 11, 2019
Here are some tips, directly from the stars, to help you optimize your LinkedIn experience.
Satire | Back to school horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
August 29, 2019
Look to the stars for some answers, because Kevin in the second-to-last row of your biology lecture sure isn’t going to provide any insight.
Satire | Residence Hall Horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
June 29, 2019
Just like you, each of Pitt’s residence halls has its own distinct character.
Opinion | June Horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
June 18, 2019
Summer is upon us. The weather becomes hot. The air becomes sticky. The Geminis finally crawl back into the wretched pits from whence we came. There is a sense of calm. Check your horoscope to see what else the stars have in store for you this Cancer season.
Opinion | Drunk horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
April 10, 2019
It’s easy to have a hard time figuring out the right drink for you. Why not bring the stars to the bars? It’s time to let your sign determine your drink order.
Opinion | Serious March horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
March 21, 2019
Just some rigorous and serious March horoscopes. These are arguably the most accurate March horoscopes that can be found today.
Opinion | Scientifically tested horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
February 22, 2019
These horoscopes have been scientifically tested - rigorously, too.
Opinion | Accurate, peer-reviewed horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Staff Columnist
January 17, 2019
Do you use Apple Music? Do you enjoy it? Do you like to pop, and lock, and jam, and break? Reconsider this stance, Aquarius.