The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
Satire | Holiday Cheer, and so can you!

Satire | Holiday Cheer, and so can you!

By Raquel Padin-Nicholas, Staff Columnist • November 18, 2024
Trust me, I understand how hard the results of this election season were. Still, nothing says out of sight, out of mind quite like the avalanche of holidays that are about to hit us.
Satire | Undecided voters having trouble choosing between Block of Wood and Baby Eater

Satire | Undecided voters having trouble choosing between Block of Wood and Baby Eater

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor • October 21, 2024
As the election draws near, many Pittsburgh voters are confident in their upcoming decision at the ballot box — but there is still a large sect of the population that can’t quite decide between their two options.
The West Virginia Mountaineer mascot charges onto the field ahead of the players before the Backyard Brawl in Morgantown, West Virginia, on Saturday, Sept. 16, 2023

Satire | Why WVU is better than Pitt

By Camille de Jesus, Staff Writer • September 10, 2024

Love, gratitude and friendship. There aren’t three words that could better describe the undying relationship between West Virginia and Pittsburgh.  With 129 years of history between the two schools,...

Halket Street in Oakland.

Satire | Pitt student loses mind after all his friends go home for summer

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor • June 6, 2023
Without schoolwork taking up their evenings, students can spend more free time with their friends — but what about those whose friends moved back home for the summer?
Satire | Climate change is going to kill Punxsutawney Phil

Satire | Climate change is going to kill Punxsutawney Phil

By Jessica Snyder, Senior Staff Columnist • February 6, 2023
It’s becoming harder and harder to put faith in our little Punxsutawney vermin. The period at the beginning of the year was often a transition from winter to spring, so most of his predictions weren’t too hard to believe. I’d even say that they were sometimes actually right. If this year’s prediction doesn’t completely disenfranchise Phil, he should at least get laid off until he proves he can provide accurate information.
Satire | First artificially intelligent student accepted to Carnegie Mellon School of Arts

Satire | First artificially intelligent student accepted to Carnegie Mellon School of Arts

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist • January 20, 2023
An AI student at CMU and the ways that AI has impacted the world of art.
Satire | Ally to renters? This South Oakland landlord claims he’s ‘one of the good ones’

Satire | Ally to renters? This South Oakland landlord claims he’s ‘one of the good ones’

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist • November 15, 2022
As lowerclassmen begin the hunt for off-campus housing for the next school year, they may struggle to not only choose a place to rent, but also to choose a landlord. There are plenty of horror stories out there from past and current renters, but one local landlord says he’s trying to make a difference.
Satire | A diary entry from a fork in Towers

Satire | A diary entry from a fork in Towers

By Talia Spillerman, Senior Staff Writer • October 17, 2022
This is a satirical piece — no forks were harmed in the making of this article.
Satire | Pitt student distraught after realizing his music taste is terrible

Satire | Pitt student distraught after realizing his music taste is terrible

By Thomas Riley, Staff Columnist • October 2, 2022
Unfortunately for one Pitt student, the last house party he attended in South Oakland revealed that his music taste is really awful.
Satire | Upper campus students unbothered by new construction

Satire | Upper campus students unbothered by new construction

By Thomas Riley, For The Pitt News • September 18, 2022
Thomas Riley reports on the attitudes of upper campus residents in the wake of ever-increasing construction projects.
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