satire Archives - Page 5 of 9 - The Pitt News

Satire | Why Pitt’s housing carts don’t make sense

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • March 26, 2020

These carts are sneaky and I do not care for it.

Satire | Shopping at Market District: Special coronavirus edition

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • March 26, 2020

I must walk to the grocery store and get some things to sustain me.

Humor | Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus Alignment

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • February 28, 2020

Yes, buses have personalities. And yes, I’m only choosing a select few that have distinct vibes or that I have personal feelings about. Shut up. I’m tired and correct.

Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • February 13, 2020

Mercury is in retrograde and love is hard. That’s all. That’s it. Let’s look to the stars to understand our weird human emotions on this weird human emotions day.

Pitt sports teams as past partners

By Stephen Thompson, Assistant Sports Editor • February 13, 2020

What if Pitt's athletes personified the teams they play for? Well, you might be in for the same disappointment felt as a fan.

Opinion | My top 10 Tinder messages: cringey, creative and comical

By Sarah Connor, Contributing Editor • February 13, 2020

All messages are 100% real and from my own personal Tinder interactions.

Satire | Sleeping around — what different majors are like in bed

By Paige Lawler, Senior Staff Columnist • February 13, 2020

Before you hop into bed with anybody new, consult this list to see if they’re even worth your time.

Satire | Internship Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • February 5, 2020

Feel like you’re gonna get sucked up by the resume gods if you don’t get an internship? Look to the stars for some guidance.

Satire | How to escape a conversation with a “Film Bro”

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist • January 16, 2020

You’ll find Film Bros everywhere, or a type like them in every major — you can’t escape.

Satire | January Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • January 10, 2020

The new year rolled around and we’re all the same people.

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