The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News
Satire | Passover is objectively the best holiday

Satire | Passover is objectively the best holiday

By Rachel Soloff, Opinions Editor • April 14, 2022
The Jewish holiday of Passover is the best one ever — what other holiday do you leave out wine for a ghost?!
Satire | America’s the greatest country — SIKE

Satire | America’s the greatest country — SIKE

By Grace DeLallo, Assistant Opinions Editor • March 31, 2022
America is the best country ever... or is it?
Satire | 12 things you didn’t know about being a woman with armpit hair

Satire | 12 things you didn’t know about being a woman with armpit hair

By Sarah Liez, Senior Staff Columnist • March 31, 2022
A series of true, non-exaggerated facts that exemplify the experiences of women with armpit hair.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis displays the signed Parental Rights in Education, aka the Don't Say Gay bill, flanked by elementary school students during a news conference on Monday, March 28, 2022, at Classical Preparatory school in Shady Hills.

Satire | ‘Don’t Say Gay’ is really effective legislation

By Paige Wasserman, Staff Columnist • March 29, 2022
The “Parental Rights in Education” bill in Florida is definitely going to turn would-be queer youth into country-loving heterosexuals.
Satire | Pittsburgh, do better with bagels

Satire | Pittsburgh, do better with bagels

By Paige Wasserman, Staff Columnist • March 22, 2022
As a New Jersey suburbanite-turned-Yinzer, finding a perfect bagel in Pittsburgh has become the bane of my Jewish existence.
Satire | 10 activities for singles on Valentine’s Day

Satire | 10 activities for singles on Valentine’s Day

By Sarah Liez, Senior Staff Columnist • February 13, 2022
To all of you lonely folks out there, presented is a list of 10 Valentine’s activities that will be sure to mend your non-committal hearts.
Satire | Celebrity death fanfiction is dumb and bad. Stop it.

Satire | Celebrity death fanfiction is dumb and bad. Stop it.

By Paige Wasserman, For The Pitt News • January 19, 2022
This new-ish trend of fictionalizing a cultural figure’s transition to the afterlife is not only cringeworthy, but it speaks to the narcissism of the digital age, parasocial interaction, deep cultural insensitivity and just an adamant refusal to think critically.
Satire | January horoscopes

Satire | January horoscopes

By Paige Lawler, Senior Staff Columnist • January 9, 2022
Paige Lawler asked the stars about what lies ahead for the signs this coming new year in regard to their resolutions. Read on to see what lies in store for you this January.
Taylor Swift attends a Friday premiere for the short film "All Too Well" in New York.

Satire | What your favorite song from Red (Taylor’s Version) says about you

By Rachel Soloff, Assistant Opinions Editor • November 17, 2021
While liking any song on Red (Taylor’s Version) means that you hate Jake Gyllenhaal, here’s what your favorite track really says about you.
Satire | Housing Horoscopes: What your housing says about you

Satire | Housing Horoscopes: What your housing says about you

By Nadiya Greaser, Staff Columnist • November 9, 2021
We all judge people for where they live. Here’s what your housing says about you.
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