Satire Archives - Page 10 of 12

Satire | Shopping at Market District: Special coronavirus edition

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • March 25, 2020

I must walk to the grocery store and get some things to sustain me.

Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • February 13, 2020

Mercury is in retrograde and love is hard. That’s all. That’s it. Let’s look to the stars to understand our weird human emotions on this weird human emotions day.

Satire | Sleeping around — what different majors are like in bed

By Paige Lawler, Senior Staff Columnist • February 12, 2020

Before you hop into bed with anybody new, consult this list to see if they’re even worth your time.

Satire | Internship Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • February 5, 2020

Feel like you’re gonna get sucked up by the resume gods if you don’t get an internship? Look to the stars for some guidance.

Satire | What your favorite Girl Scout Cookie says about you

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • January 30, 2020

The only good part of January and February has arrived — it’s Girl Scout Cookie season!

Satire | How to escape a conversation with a “Film Bro”

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist • January 16, 2020

You’ll find Film Bros everywhere, or a type like them in every major — you can’t escape.

Satire | January Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist • January 9, 2020

The new year rolled around and we’re all the same people.

Satire | Top 10 resolutions you can actually keep

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist • January 5, 2020

I know that things look bleak, but I come bearing solutions, i.e. 10 small and easy resolutions that are exactly what you need to have the best year ever.